What are some strategies to forgive and move on?
I don’t know the specific circumstance of what someone is trying to forgive, and that matters because some offenses are far more serious than others. Without knowing the details, there are still some general principles that can be helpful.
The first step is to clearly define what you are trying to forgive. What is the offense? Is it the person? Is it the way they hurt or offended you or your loved ones? Identifying exactly what you feel needs forgiveness is important.
Once the offense is defined, the next step is to ask a self-reflective question: how do I want to respond to this? Another way to say that is, how do I want to show up knowing this offense has occurred? What kind of human being do I want to be?
This shifts the focus toward empowerment, rather than allowing the offense to control you. You may or may not receive an apology from the person who hurt you. If you don’t, holding onto that unmet expectation can create a deep sense of frustration and keep you from being your true self.
When others offend us, one of the strongest ways to approach forgiveness is from a place of inner strength and a solid sense of self. This means deciding, “This is the kind of person I’m going to be, regardless of what has happened.”
Choosing forgiveness is about living according to your core values and the person you want to be, not allowing someone else’s behavior to dictate how you live your life. That approach is empowering because it puts you back in control of your choices, your identity, and your direction.
