[{"id":82416,"date":"2026-04-24T13:06:13","date_gmt":"2026-04-24T19:06:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/parentguidance.org\/?post_type=ask-a-therapist&#038;p=82416"},"modified":"2026-04-24T13:06:20","modified_gmt":"2026-04-24T19:06:20","slug":"is-it-common-for-children-to-want-to-please-both-parents-so-they-tend-to-side-with-the-one-theyre-with","status":"publish","type":"ask-a-therapist","link":"https:\/\/parentguidance.org\/vi\/ask-a-therapist\/is-it-common-for-children-to-want-to-please-both-parents-so-they-tend-to-side-with-the-one-theyre-with\/","title":{"rendered":"Tr\u1ebb em c\u00f3 xu h\u01b0\u1edbng mu\u1ed1n l\u00e0m h\u00e0i l\u00f2ng c\u1ea3 cha v\u00e0 m\u1eb9, v\u00ec v\u1eady ch\u00fang th\u01b0\u1eddng c\u00f3 xu h\u01b0\u1edbng \u0111\u1ee9ng v\u1ec1 ph\u00eda b\u1ed1 ho\u1eb7c m\u1eb9 m\u00e0 ch\u00fang \u0111ang \u1edf c\u00f9ng kh\u00f4ng?"},"content":{"rendered":"<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"82416\" class=\"elementor elementor-82416\" data-elementor-post-type=\"ask-a-therapist\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b97dff1 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"b97dff1\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7a75e0c elementor-widget elementor-widget-video\" data-id=\"7a75e0c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;video_type&quot;:&quot;vimeo&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"video.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-wrapper elementor-open-inline\">\n\t\t\t<iframe class=\"elementor-video-iframe\" allowfullscreen allow=\"clipboard-write\" title=\"Tr\u00ecnh ph\u00e1t video vimeo\" src=\"https:\/\/player.vimeo.com\/video\/1185882503?color&amp;autopause=0&amp;loop=0&amp;muted=0&amp;title=0&amp;portrait=0&amp;byline=0#t=\"><\/iframe>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a17174a elementor-widget elementor-widget-elementskit-accordion\" data-id=\"a17174a\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"elementskit-accordion.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"ekit-wid-con\" >\n        <div class=\"elementskit-accordion accoedion-primary\" id=\"accordion-69eba9d87d043\">\n\n            \n                <div class=\"elementskit-card\">\n                    <div class=\"elementskit-card-header\" id=\"primaryHeading-0-a17174a\">\n                        <a href=\"#collapse-0f0367469eba9d87d043\" class=\"ekit-accordion--toggler elementskit-btn-link collapsed\" data-ekit-toggle=\"collapse\" data-target=\"#Collapse-0f0367469eba9d87d043\" aria-expanded=\"false\" aria-controls=\"Collapse-0f0367469eba9d87d043\">\n                                                            <div class=\"ekit_accordion_icon_left_group\">\n                                    <div class=\"ekit_accordion_normal_icon\">\n                                        <!-- Normal Icon -->\n                                        <i class=\"icon icon-plus\"><\/i>                                    <\/div>\n\n                                    <div class=\"ekit_accordion_active_icon\">\n                                        <!-- Active Icon -->\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<i class=\"icon icon-minus\"><\/i>                                    <\/div>\n                                <\/div>\n\n                            \n                            <span class=\"ekit-accordion-title\">M\u1edf r\u1ed9ng Phi\u00ean \u00e2m<\/span>\n\n                            \n                                                    <\/a>\n                    <\/div>\n\n                    <div id=\"Collapse-0f0367469eba9d87d043\" class=\"collapse\" aria-labelledby=\"primaryHeading-0-a17174a\" data-parent=\"#accordion-69eba9d87d043\">\n\n                        <div class=\"elementskit-card-body ekit-accordion--content\">\n                            <p>Is it common for children to want to please both parents, so they tend to side with the one they're with?<\/p><p>Oh, for sure. Because in that moment, the child is responding to the parent they are with. But this can create a situation where the child feels like they have to present two different versions of themselves.<\/p><p>When they\u2019re with one parent, they may agree or align with that parent, and then when they\u2019re with the other, they do the same. Over time, this can feel like developing two identities based on the situation.<\/p><p>Parents are in a position of power, and young children often don\u2019t have the capacity to push back or say no, especially in high-conflict situations. As a result, the child\u2019s voice is often the one that gets lost.<\/p><p>This is why children tend to please the parent they are with\u2014it\u2019s part of the power dynamic. They are trying to maintain connection and avoid conflict in the moment.<\/p><p>In some cases, one parent may try to dominate or even alienate the other parent, which can be very harmful to the child. These situations are complex and often require outside perspective or support to fully understand and address.<\/p>                        <\/div>\n\n                    <\/div>\n\n                <\/div><!-- .elementskit-card END -->\n\n                                        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dr. Kevin Skinner explains that children often try to please both parents, especially in separated or high-conflict situations, which can lead to them presenting different versions of themselves. He highlights the impact of power dynamics and the importance of protecting the child\u2019s voice.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":9841,"featured_media":82418,"menu_order":0,"template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"iawp_total_views":4},"categories":[318,227,321,230,222],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-82416","ask-a-therapist","type-ask-a-therapist","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ask-a-therapist-live","category-behavior","category-divorce","category-general-self-help","category-parent-support"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Is it common for children to want to please both parents so they tend to side with the one they\u2019re with? - Parent Guidance<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" 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class=\"elementor-video-iframe\" allowfullscreen allow=\"clipboard-write\" title=\"Tr\u00ecnh ph\u00e1t video vimeo\" src=\"https:\/\/player.vimeo.com\/video\/1185882502?color&amp;autopause=0&amp;loop=0&amp;muted=0&amp;title=0&amp;portrait=0&amp;byline=0#t=\"><\/iframe>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a17174a elementor-widget elementor-widget-elementskit-accordion\" data-id=\"a17174a\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"elementskit-accordion.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"ekit-wid-con\" >\n        <div class=\"elementskit-accordion accoedion-primary\" id=\"accordion-69ebabc50a07d\">\n\n            \n                <div class=\"elementskit-card\">\n                    <div class=\"elementskit-card-header\" id=\"primaryHeading-0-a17174a\">\n                        <a href=\"#collapse-0f0367469ebabc50a07d\" class=\"ekit-accordion--toggler elementskit-btn-link collapsed\" data-ekit-toggle=\"collapse\" data-target=\"#Collapse-0f0367469ebabc50a07d\" aria-expanded=\"false\" aria-controls=\"Collapse-0f0367469ebabc50a07d\">\n                                                            <div class=\"ekit_accordion_icon_left_group\">\n                                    <div class=\"ekit_accordion_normal_icon\">\n                                        <!-- Normal Icon -->\n                                        <i class=\"icon icon-plus\"><\/i>                                    <\/div>\n\n                                    <div class=\"ekit_accordion_active_icon\">\n                                        <!-- Active Icon -->\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<i class=\"icon icon-minus\"><\/i>                                    <\/div>\n                                <\/div>\n\n                            \n                            <span class=\"ekit-accordion-title\">M\u1edf r\u1ed9ng Phi\u00ean \u00e2m<\/span>\n\n                            \n                                                    <\/a>\n                    <\/div>\n\n                    <div id=\"Collapse-0f0367469ebabc50a07d\" class=\"collapse\" aria-labelledby=\"primaryHeading-0-a17174a\" data-parent=\"#accordion-69ebabc50a07d\">\n\n                        <div class=\"elementskit-card-body ekit-accordion--content\">\n                            <p>First question: Dr. Skinner, I have suspicions that my child doesn't feel completely safe when they're with my ex. How can I know for sure?<\/p><p>There are two things I think of in that situation. First, you need an outside voice. In situations like this, parents are often in conflict, and children can get caught in the middle of what\u2019s happening. In more destructive dynamics, one parent may try to turn the child against the other, creating an environment where the child feels like they have to choose.<\/p><p>When a child feels forced to choose between parents, it can create significant emotional distress. They want acceptance from both parents, and when they feel they can\u2019t have that, it can lead to confusion and even trauma.<\/p><p>That\u2019s why it\u2019s important to involve a neutral third party\u2014someone who can talk with the child and understand what they\u2019re truly experiencing, without being influenced by either parent. When you\u2019re in the middle of conflict, it\u2019s often difficult to see clearly.<\/p><p>One of the most important things I tell parents is to leave children out of the divorce. The more amicable and consistent parents can be, the better the outcome for the child.<\/p><p>Children need to know that the divorce is not their fault. They should not feel caught in the middle, and they need reassurance that both parents still love them. They also need to feel that they are not losing their relationship with either parent.<\/p><p>It\u2019s important to focus on what you can control\u2014providing validation, emotional support, and stability. Keeping consistency in their environment, such as maintaining routines, friendships, and family connections, is also very helpful.<\/p><p>Another concern is when one parent may try to influence or distort the child\u2019s perception of the other parent. If that is happening, it becomes even more important to involve an outside professional who can observe and help clarify what is actually going on.<\/p><p>When conflict between parents escalates, children are usually the ones who suffer the most. So the goal should be to protect the child\u2019s emotional well-being as much as possible.<\/p>                        <\/div>\n\n                    <\/div>\n\n                <\/div><!-- .elementskit-card END -->\n\n                                        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Copy Goes HereDr. Kevin Skinner advises parents concerned about their child\u2019s safety in a co-parenting situation to seek an objective third-party perspective. He emphasizes keeping children out of parental conflict, ensuring they feel loved by both parents, and focusing on stability and emotional support.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":9841,"featured_media":82417,"menu_order":0,"template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"iawp_total_views":4},"categories":[318,227,321,230,222],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-82415","ask-a-therapist","type-ask-a-therapist","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ask-a-therapist-live","category-behavior","category-divorce","category-general-self-help","category-parent-support"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>How can I be sure that my child feels safe when they\u2019re with my Ex? - Parent Guidance<\/title>\n<meta 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ngh\u0129 g\u00ec v\u1ec1 vi\u1ec7c trao quy\u1ec1n cho con c\u00e1i ch\u00fang ta t\u1ef1 l\u00ean ti\u1ebfng b\u1ea3o v\u1ec7 b\u1ea3n th\u00e2n?"},"content":{"rendered":"<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"82414\" class=\"elementor elementor-82414\" data-elementor-post-type=\"ask-a-therapist\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b97dff1 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"b97dff1\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7a75e0c elementor-widget elementor-widget-video\" data-id=\"7a75e0c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;video_type&quot;:&quot;vimeo&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"video.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-wrapper elementor-open-inline\">\n\t\t\t<iframe class=\"elementor-video-iframe\" allowfullscreen allow=\"clipboard-write\" title=\"Tr\u00ecnh ph\u00e1t video vimeo\" src=\"https:\/\/player.vimeo.com\/video\/1185882555?color&amp;autopause=0&amp;loop=0&amp;muted=0&amp;title=0&amp;portrait=0&amp;byline=0#t=\"><\/iframe>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a17174a elementor-widget elementor-widget-elementskit-accordion\" data-id=\"a17174a\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"elementskit-accordion.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"ekit-wid-con\" >\n        <div class=\"elementskit-accordion accoedion-primary\" id=\"accordion-69eba88ab9c69\">\n\n            \n                <div class=\"elementskit-card\">\n                    <div class=\"elementskit-card-header\" id=\"primaryHeading-0-a17174a\">\n                        <a href=\"#collapse-0f0367469eba88ab9c69\" class=\"ekit-accordion--toggler elementskit-btn-link collapsed\" data-ekit-toggle=\"collapse\" data-target=\"#Collapse-0f0367469eba88ab9c69\" aria-expanded=\"false\" aria-controls=\"Collapse-0f0367469eba88ab9c69\">\n                                                            <div class=\"ekit_accordion_icon_left_group\">\n                                    <div class=\"ekit_accordion_normal_icon\">\n                                        <!-- Normal Icon -->\n                                        <i class=\"icon icon-plus\"><\/i>                                    <\/div>\n\n                                    <div class=\"ekit_accordion_active_icon\">\n                                        <!-- Active Icon -->\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<i class=\"icon icon-minus\"><\/i>                                    <\/div>\n                                <\/div>\n\n                            \n                            <span class=\"ekit-accordion-title\">M\u1edf r\u1ed9ng Phi\u00ean \u00e2m<\/span>\n\n                            \n                                                    <\/a>\n                    <\/div>\n\n                    <div id=\"Collapse-0f0367469eba88ab9c69\" class=\"collapse\" aria-labelledby=\"primaryHeading-0-a17174a\" data-parent=\"#accordion-69eba88ab9c69\">\n\n                        <div class=\"elementskit-card-body ekit-accordion--content\">\n                            <p>Next question: What are your thoughts on empowering our children to advocate for themselves?<\/p><p>I like that question a lot because when we work with children, we want them to feel like they have influence\u2014that they have a voice. As parents, one of the greatest gifts we can give our children is helping them understand what they\u2019re feeling and what they\u2019re experiencing.<\/p><p>We can do this by asking thoughtful questions. For example: \u201cWhat was the most interesting thing that happened to you today? What was the most difficult thing? What was the best thing?\u201d And not just their answers, but asking why\u2014why was that difficult? How did you respond? What made that experience meaningful?<\/p><p>What we\u2019re doing is helping our children identify their emotions, understand their thoughts, and learn how to communicate them. The more they practice this, the stronger they become.<\/p><p>Helping children develop an internal voice is key to self-advocacy. When they understand their thoughts and feelings, their confidence increases. That internal clarity helps them speak up when it matters.<\/p><p>You can also practice real-life scenarios with them. For example: \u201cIf something happened at school, like being bullied, what would you want to say or do?\u201d Practicing these situations gives them a reference point so they feel more prepared in the moment.<\/p><p>So, empowering children to advocate for themselves comes from helping them recognize their emotions, understand their experiences, and practice expressing themselves in a safe and supportive environment.<\/p>                        <\/div>\n\n                    <\/div>\n\n                <\/div><!-- .elementskit-card END -->\n\n                                        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dr. Kevin Skinner explains that empowering children to advocate for themselves starts with helping them understand and express their emotions. Through intentional conversations and practice, parents can build their child\u2019s confidence and ability to communicate effectively.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":9841,"featured_media":82419,"menu_order":0,"template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"iawp_total_views":4},"categories":[318,227,230,222],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-82414","ask-a-therapist","type-ask-a-therapist","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ask-a-therapist-live","category-behavior","category-general-self-help","category-parent-support"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>What are your thoughts on empowering our children to advocate for themselves? - Parent Guidance<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Dr. Kevin 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con t\u00f4i lo l\u1eafng ho\u1eb7c khi m\u1ecdi vi\u1ec7c kh\u00f4ng su\u00f4n s\u1ebb, con b\u00e9 s\u1ebd ch\u00e0 x\u00e1t v\u00e0 g\u00e3i da cho \u0111\u1ebfn khi b\u1ecb tr\u1ea7y x\u01b0\u1edbc?"},"content":{"rendered":"<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"82413\" class=\"elementor elementor-82413\" data-elementor-post-type=\"ask-a-therapist\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b97dff1 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"b97dff1\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7a75e0c elementor-widget elementor-widget-video\" data-id=\"7a75e0c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;video_type&quot;:&quot;vimeo&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"video.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-wrapper elementor-open-inline\">\n\t\t\t<iframe class=\"elementor-video-iframe\" allowfullscreen allow=\"clipboard-write\" title=\"Tr\u00ecnh ph\u00e1t video vimeo\" src=\"https:\/\/player.vimeo.com\/video\/1185882783?color&amp;autopause=0&amp;loop=0&amp;muted=0&amp;title=0&amp;portrait=0&amp;byline=0#t=\"><\/iframe>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a17174a elementor-widget elementor-widget-elementskit-accordion\" data-id=\"a17174a\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"elementskit-accordion.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"ekit-wid-con\" >\n        <div class=\"elementskit-accordion accoedion-primary\" id=\"accordion-69eba4fe98080\">\n\n            \n                <div class=\"elementskit-card\">\n                    <div class=\"elementskit-card-header\" id=\"primaryHeading-0-a17174a\">\n                        <a href=\"#collapse-0f0367469eba4fe98080\" class=\"ekit-accordion--toggler elementskit-btn-link collapsed\" data-ekit-toggle=\"collapse\" data-target=\"#Collapse-0f0367469eba4fe98080\" aria-expanded=\"false\" aria-controls=\"Collapse-0f0367469eba4fe98080\">\n                                                            <div class=\"ekit_accordion_icon_left_group\">\n                                    <div class=\"ekit_accordion_normal_icon\">\n                                        <!-- Normal Icon -->\n                                        <i class=\"icon icon-plus\"><\/i>                                    <\/div>\n\n                                    <div class=\"ekit_accordion_active_icon\">\n                                        <!-- Active Icon -->\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<i class=\"icon icon-minus\"><\/i>                                    <\/div>\n                                <\/div>\n\n                            \n                            <span class=\"ekit-accordion-title\">M\u1edf r\u1ed9ng Phi\u00ean \u00e2m<\/span>\n\n                            \n                                                    <\/a>\n                    <\/div>\n\n                    <div id=\"Collapse-0f0367469eba4fe98080\" class=\"collapse\" aria-labelledby=\"primaryHeading-0-a17174a\" data-parent=\"#accordion-69eba4fe98080\">\n\n                        <div class=\"elementskit-card-body ekit-accordion--content\">\n                            <p>When my child gets nervous or things are not going right, she\u2019ll rub and scratch her skin until she breaks the skin. How do I correct this?<\/p><p>In situations like that, it can either be a habit used for comfort or soothing, or it can be tied to internal feelings of anxiety. When individuals feel anxious, behaviors like scratching can become a way to cope with those internal sensations.<\/p><p>There are two main approaches to helping with this. The first is to redirect attention. When your child feels the urge to scratch, you can help them practice doing something different instead. This builds awareness\u2014\u201cI want to do this, but I\u2019m going to choose something else.\u201d Helping them develop alternative strategies is key.<\/p><p>The second approach is to pause and bring awareness to what they\u2019re feeling. You might have them fold their arms, take a few deep breaths, and observe what\u2019s happening inside. Ask questions like, \u201cWhat am I feeling? Why do I want to do this? What do I need right now?\u201d This builds emotional awareness.<\/p><p>Some may wonder why we would focus attention on the feeling instead of distracting from it. The reason is that simply distracting doesn\u2019t make the feeling go away\u2014it just shifts attention. While distraction can be helpful, understanding the feeling can lead to deeper, long-term change.<\/p><p>Research like the marshmallow experiment shows that learning to delay impulses can lead to better outcomes. But those skills can also be taught\u2014children can learn to redirect their attention effectively.<\/p><p>Another powerful approach is helping the child sit with the discomfort briefly and identify what\u2019s going on inside. Are they anxious? Stressed? Bored? Naming the feeling helps them gain control over it rather than feeling controlled by it.<\/p><p>You can even give the urge a simple name, like \u201cthe itch,\u201d to create some distance from it. From there, they can either sit with the feeling or gently redirect their attention.<\/p><p>A combination of awareness and redirection tends to be most effective. The goal is to help the child understand what they\u2019re feeling and develop healthier ways to respond.<\/p>                        <\/div>\n\n                    <\/div>\n\n                <\/div><!-- .elementskit-card END -->\n\n                                        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dr. Kevin Skinner explains that self-scratching behaviors in children are often linked to anxiety or self-soothing habits. He recommends helping children build awareness of their emotions while also teaching alternative coping strategies like redirection and mindful observation.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":9841,"featured_media":82420,"menu_order":0,"template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"iawp_total_views":4},"categories":[318,227,221,230,222],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-82413","ask-a-therapist","type-ask-a-therapist","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ask-a-therapist-live","category-behavior","category-childdevelopment","category-general-self-help","category-parent-support"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>When my child gets nervous or things are not going right, she\u2019ll rub and scratch her skin until 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t\u1ed1t nh\u1ea5t \u0111\u1ec3 n\u00f3i chuy\u1ec7n v\u1edbi con b\u1ea1n khi ch\u00fang b\u1ecb b\u1ea1n b\u00e8 \u1ea3nh h\u01b0\u1edfng ti\u00eau c\u1ef1c l\u00e0 g\u00ec?"},"content":{"rendered":"<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"82411\" class=\"elementor elementor-82411\" data-elementor-post-type=\"ask-a-therapist\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b97dff1 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"b97dff1\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7a75e0c elementor-widget elementor-widget-video\" data-id=\"7a75e0c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;video_type&quot;:&quot;vimeo&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"video.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-wrapper elementor-open-inline\">\n\t\t\t<iframe class=\"elementor-video-iframe\" allowfullscreen allow=\"clipboard-write\" title=\"Tr\u00ecnh ph\u00e1t video vimeo\" src=\"https:\/\/player.vimeo.com\/video\/1185883501?color&amp;autopause=0&amp;loop=0&amp;muted=0&amp;title=0&amp;portrait=0&amp;byline=0#t=\"><\/iframe>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a17174a elementor-widget elementor-widget-elementskit-accordion\" data-id=\"a17174a\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"elementskit-accordion.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"ekit-wid-con\" >\n        <div class=\"elementskit-accordion accoedion-primary\" id=\"accordion-69eba3c36ee46\">\n\n            \n                <div class=\"elementskit-card\">\n                    <div class=\"elementskit-card-header\" id=\"primaryHeading-0-a17174a\">\n                        <a href=\"#collapse-0f0367469eba3c36ee46\" class=\"ekit-accordion--toggler elementskit-btn-link collapsed\" data-ekit-toggle=\"collapse\" data-target=\"#Collapse-0f0367469eba3c36ee46\" aria-expanded=\"false\" aria-controls=\"Collapse-0f0367469eba3c36ee46\">\n                                                            <div class=\"ekit_accordion_icon_left_group\">\n                                    <div class=\"ekit_accordion_normal_icon\">\n                                        <!-- Normal Icon -->\n                                        <i class=\"icon icon-plus\"><\/i>                                    <\/div>\n\n                                    <div class=\"ekit_accordion_active_icon\">\n                                        <!-- Active Icon -->\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<i class=\"icon icon-minus\"><\/i>                                    <\/div>\n                                <\/div>\n\n                            \n                            <span class=\"ekit-accordion-title\">M\u1edf r\u1ed9ng Phi\u00ean \u00e2m<\/span>\n\n                            \n                                                    <\/a>\n                    <\/div>\n\n                    <div id=\"Collapse-0f0367469eba3c36ee46\" class=\"collapse\" aria-labelledby=\"primaryHeading-0-a17174a\" data-parent=\"#accordion-69eba3c36ee46\">\n\n                        <div class=\"elementskit-card-body ekit-accordion--content\">\n                            <p>C\u00e1ch t\u1ed1t nh\u1ea5t \u0111\u1ec3 n\u00f3i chuy\u1ec7n v\u1edbi con b\u1ea1n khi ch\u00fang b\u1ecb b\u1ea1n b\u00e8 \u1ea3nh h\u01b0\u1edfng ti\u00eau c\u1ef1c l\u00e0 g\u00ec?<\/p><p>There is a part of every child that looks for connection. If a child is being negatively influenced by peers, a parent coming down too hard can actually push them further toward those peers. We need to be careful not to create resistance or unintentionally align them against us.<\/p><p>Instead, we want to focus on what we can control\u2014how we interact with our child. Start by observing. The type of negative influence matters. There\u2019s a difference between changes in language and more serious concerns like drugs, alcohol, or risky behavior. We need to identify the level of influence and address it accordingly.<\/p><p>Have conversations that teach your child what\u2019s happening and clearly communicate your family\u2019s expectations. Explain not just what the rules are, but why they exist. Help your child understand your perspective, and also ask them about their experiences with their peers.<\/p><p>It\u2019s important to validate their feelings. Being accepted and feeling like part of a group matters to them because we all long for connection. That desire makes peer influence powerful.<\/p><p>What we want is for our child to feel strong connection at home. When that connection is present, they are more likely to recognize when peer influences are pulling them away from what matters most\u2014healthy relationships and family.<\/p><p>The parent-child relationship is one of the most effective ways to counter negative peer influence. Open, honest, and loving communication is key.<\/p><p>If your child has already aligned strongly with a peer group, it may be more difficult. They may not recognize negative outcomes until later. That\u2019s why consistency, love, and clear guidelines are so important.<\/p><p>Educate them about consequences\u2014legal, emotional, and relational\u2014especially with higher-risk behaviors like substance use. Set boundaries, and when needed, apply consequences.<\/p><p>Consequences should be given with love. For example: \u201cThis behavior is not acceptable, and here are the expectations in our family.\u201d The goal is to protect your child while maintaining connection.<\/p>                        <\/div>\n\n                    <\/div>\n\n                <\/div><!-- .elementskit-card END -->\n\n                                        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dr. Kevin Skinner explains how to address negative peer influence by strengthening the parent-child relationship, communicating expectations with clarity and empathy, and using consistent, loving guidance and boundaries to help children make better choices.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":9841,"featured_media":82422,"menu_order":0,"template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"iawp_total_views":4},"categories":[318,227,230,222],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-82411","ask-a-therapist","type-ask-a-therapist","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ask-a-therapist-live","category-behavior","category-general-self-help","category-parent-support"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>What is the best way to speak to your child when they are becoming negatively influenced by friends? - Parent Guidance<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Dr. Kevin Skinner shares strategies for helping children navigate negative peer influence, emphasizing connection, 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n\u00f3i chuy\u1ec7n v\u1edbi m\u1ed9t \u0111\u1ee9a tr\u1ebb xem l\u00e9n video ng\u01b0\u1eddi l\u1edbn, b\u1ea1n c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 th\u1ef1c hi\u1ec7n c\u00e1c b\u01b0\u1edbc sau:\n\n1.  **Gi\u1eef b\u00ecnh t\u0129nh v\u00e0 kh\u00f4ng ph\u00e1n x\u00e9t:** \u0110i\u1ec1u quan tr\u1ecdng l\u00e0 ph\u1ea3i ti\u1ebfp c\u1eadn cu\u1ed9c tr\u00f2 chuy\u1ec7n n\u00e0y m\u1ed9t c\u00e1ch b\u00ecnh t\u0129nh v\u00e0 kh\u00f4ng l\u00ean \u00e1n. \u0110\u1ee9a tr\u1ebb c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 c\u1ea3m th\u1ea5y x\u1ea5u h\u1ed5, s\u1ee3 h\u00e3i ho\u1eb7c b\u1ed1i r\u1ed1i, v\u00e0 ph\u1ea3n \u1ee9ng ti\u00eau c\u1ef1c c\u1ee7a b\u1ea1n c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 khi\u1ebfn ch\u00fang c\u00e0ng thu m\u00ecnh l\u1ea1i.\n\n2.  **Ch\u1ecdn th\u1eddi \u0111i\u1ec3m v\u00e0 \u0111\u1ecba \u0111i\u1ec3m th\u00edch h\u1ee3p:** T\u00ecm m\u1ed9t th\u1eddi \u0111i\u1ec3m ri\u00eang t\u01b0 v\u00e0 y\u00ean t\u0129nh khi c\u1ea3 b\u1ea1n v\u00e0 \u0111\u1ee9a tr\u1ebb \u0111\u1ec1u kh\u00f4ng b\u1ecb ph\u00e2n t\u00e2m. \u0110i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y s\u1ebd t\u1ea1o ra m\u1ed9t kh\u00f4ng gian an to\u00e0n h\u01a1n cho cu\u1ed9c tr\u00f2 chuy\u1ec7n.\n\n3.  **B\u1eaft \u0111\u1ea7u b\u1eb1ng s\u1ef1 quan t\u00e2m v\u00e0 lo l\u1eafng:** H\u00e3y cho \u0111\u1ee9a tr\u1ebb bi\u1ebft r\u1eb1ng b\u1ea1n quan t\u00e2m \u0111\u1ebfn ch\u00fang v\u00e0 lo l\u1eafng cho s\u1ef1 an to\u00e0n v\u00e0 h\u1ea1nh ph\u00fac c\u1ee7a ch\u00fang. B\u1ea1n c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 b\u1eaft \u0111\u1ea7u b\u1eb1ng nh\u1eefng c\u00e2u h\u1ecfi m\u1edf nh\u01b0: \"D\u1ea1o g\u1ea7n \u0111\u00e2y con c\u00f3 xem g\u00ec tr\u00ean m\u1ea1ng kh\u00f4ng? C\u00f3 \u0111i\u1ec1u g\u00ec khi\u1ebfn con t\u00f2 m\u00f2 hay kh\u00f4ng hi\u1ec3u kh\u00f4ng?\" ho\u1eb7c \"M\u1eb9\/B\u1ed1 nh\u1eadn th\u1ea5y con c\u00f3 v\u1ebb h\u01a1i kh\u00e1c d\u1ea1o n\u00e0y, c\u00f3 chuy\u1ec7n g\u00ec mu\u1ed1n chia s\u1ebb v\u1edbi m\u1eb9\/b\u1ed1 kh\u00f4ng?\"\n\n4.  **L\u1eafng nghe v\u00e0 th\u1ea5u hi\u1ec3u:** H\u00e3y cho \u0111\u1ee9a tr\u1ebb c\u01a1 h\u1ed9i n\u00f3i l\u00ean suy ngh\u0129 v\u00e0 c\u1ea3m x\u00fac c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh m\u00e0 kh\u00f4ng ng\u1eaft l\u1eddi ho\u1eb7c b\u00e1c b\u1ecf. C\u1ed1 g\u1eafng hi\u1ec3u l\u00fd do t\u1ea1i sao ch\u00fang l\u1ea1i xem nh\u1eefng lo\u1ea1i video \u0111\u00f3. C\u00f3 th\u1ec3 l\u00e0 do t\u00f2 m\u00f2, \u00e1p l\u1ef1c t\u1eeb b\u1ea1n b\u00e8, ho\u1eb7c \u0111\u01a1n gi\u1ea3n l\u00e0 kh\u00e1m ph\u00e1 gi\u1edbi t\u00ednh b\u1ea3n th\u00e2n.\n\n5.  **Cung c\u1ea5p th\u00f4ng tin \u0111\u00fang \u0111\u1eafn v\u00e0 ph\u00f9 h\u1ee3p v\u1edbi l\u1ee9a tu\u1ed5i:** Sau khi l\u1eafng nghe, h\u00e3y cung c\u1ea5p th\u00f4ng tin ch\u00ednh x\u00e1c v\u00e0 ph\u00f9 h\u1ee3p v\u1edbi l\u1ee9a tu\u1ed5i v\u1ec1 t\u00ecnh d\u1ee5c, c\u01a1 th\u1ec3, c\u00e1c m\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7 v\u00e0 s\u1ef1 an to\u00e0n tr\u00ean m\u1ea1ng. Gi\u1ea3i th\u00edch r\u1eb1ng nh\u1eefng g\u00ec ch\u00fang th\u1ea5y trong video c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 kh\u00f4ng ph\u1ea3n \u00e1nh th\u1ef1c t\u1ebf v\u00e0 c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 g\u00e2y h\u1ea1i.\n\n6.  **Nh\u1ea5n m\u1ea1nh v\u1ec1 s\u1ef1 an to\u00e0n v\u00e0 c\u00e1c r\u1ee7i ro:** Th\u1ea3o lu\u1eadn v\u1ec1 nh\u1eefng r\u1ee7i ro li\u00ean quan \u0111\u1ebfn n\u1ed9i dung ng\u01b0\u1eddi l\u1edbn, bao g\u1ed3m c\u1ea3 vi\u1ec7c ti\u1ebfp x\u00fac v\u1edbi n\u1ed9i dung kh\u00f4ng ph\u00f9 h\u1ee3p, nguy c\u01a1 b\u1ecb l\u1eeba \u0111\u1ea3o, ho\u1eb7c c\u00e1c t\u01b0\u01a1ng t\u00e1c kh\u00f4ng an to\u00e0n tr\u00ean m\u1ea1ng.\n\n7.  **Thi\u1ebft l\u1eadp ranh gi\u1edbi v\u00e0 quy t\u1eafc r\u00f5 r\u00e0ng:** \u0110\u1eb7t ra c\u00e1c quy t\u1eafc r\u00f5 r\u00e0ng v\u1ec1 vi\u1ec7c s\u1eed d\u1ee5ng internet v\u00e0 c\u00e1c thi\u1ebft b\u1ecb \u0111i\u1ec7n t\u1eed. Gi\u1ea3i th\u00edch l\u00fd do \u0111\u1eb1ng sau nh\u1eefng quy t\u1eafc n\u00e0y, nh\u1ea5n m\u1ea1nh v\u00e0o s\u1ef1 an to\u00e0n v\u00e0 s\u1ee9c kh\u1ecfe c\u1ee7a ch\u00fang.\n\n8.  **Khuy\u1ebfn kh\u00edch giao ti\u1ebfp c\u1edfi m\u1edf:** T\u1ea1o ra m\u1ed9t m\u00f4i tr\u01b0\u1eddng m\u00e0 \u0111\u1ee9a tr\u1ebb c\u1ea3m th\u1ea5y tho\u1ea3i m\u00e1i khi n\u00f3i chuy\u1ec7n v\u1edbi b\u1ea1n v\u1ec1 b\u1ea5t k\u1ef3 \u0111i\u1ec1u g\u00ec, k\u1ec3 c\u1ea3 nh\u1eefng ch\u1ee7 \u0111\u1ec1 nh\u1ea1y c\u1ea3m. H\u00e3y cho ch\u00fang bi\u1ebft r\u1eb1ng b\u1ea1n lu\u00f4n s\u1eb5n s\u00e0ng l\u1eafng nghe v\u00e0 gi\u00fap \u0111\u1ee1.\n\n9.  **T\u1eadp trung v\u00e0o gi\u1ea3i ph\u00e1p v\u00e0 h\u1ed7 tr\u1ee3:** Thay v\u00ec ch\u1ec9 tr\u1eebng ph\u1ea1t, h\u00e3y t\u1eadp trung v\u00e0o vi\u1ec7c gi\u00fap \u0111\u1ee1 \u0111\u1ee9a tr\u1ebb hi\u1ec3u v\u00e0 x\u1eed l\u00fd t\u00ecnh hu\u1ed1ng n\u00e0y. \u0110\u1ec1 ngh\u1ecb h\u1ed7 tr\u1ee3 v\u00e0 c\u00f9ng nhau t\u00ecm ra c\u00e1ch \u0111\u1ec3 ch\u00fang tr\u00e1nh xa nh\u1eefng n\u1ed9i dung kh\u00f4ng ph\u00f9 h\u1ee3p trong t\u01b0\u01a1ng lai.\n\n10. **T\u00ecm ki\u1ebfm s\u1ef1 gi\u00fap \u0111\u1ee1 chuy\u00ean nghi\u1ec7p n\u1ebfu c\u1ea7n:** N\u1ebfu b\u1ea1n c\u1ea3m th\u1ea5y kh\u00f3 kh\u0103n trong vi\u1ec7c x\u1eed l\u00fd t\u00ecnh hu\u1ed1ng, ho\u1eb7c n\u1ebfu v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 c\u00f3 v\u1ebb nghi\u00eam tr\u1ecdng, \u0111\u1eebng ng\u1ea7n ng\u1ea1i t\u00ecm ki\u1ebfm s\u1ef1 gi\u00fap \u0111\u1ee1 t\u1eeb c\u00e1c chuy\u00ean gia t\u01b0 v\u1ea5n t\u00e2m l\u00fd tr\u1ebb em ho\u1eb7c gi\u00e1o d\u1ee5c gi\u1edbi t\u00ednh."},"content":{"rendered":"<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"82410\" class=\"elementor elementor-82410\" data-elementor-post-type=\"ask-a-therapist\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b97dff1 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"b97dff1\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7a75e0c elementor-widget elementor-widget-video\" data-id=\"7a75e0c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;video_type&quot;:&quot;vimeo&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"video.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-wrapper elementor-open-inline\">\n\t\t\t<iframe class=\"elementor-video-iframe\" allowfullscreen allow=\"clipboard-write\" title=\"Tr\u00ecnh ph\u00e1t video vimeo\" src=\"https:\/\/player.vimeo.com\/video\/1185883894?color&amp;autopause=0&amp;loop=0&amp;muted=0&amp;title=0&amp;portrait=0&amp;byline=0#t=\"><\/iframe>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a17174a elementor-widget elementor-widget-elementskit-accordion\" data-id=\"a17174a\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"elementskit-accordion.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"ekit-wid-con\" >\n        <div class=\"elementskit-accordion accoedion-primary\" id=\"accordion-69eba303706c0\">\n\n            \n                <div class=\"elementskit-card\">\n                    <div class=\"elementskit-card-header\" id=\"primaryHeading-0-a17174a\">\n                        <a href=\"#collapse-0f0367469eba303706c0\" class=\"ekit-accordion--toggler elementskit-btn-link collapsed\" data-ekit-toggle=\"collapse\" data-target=\"#Collapse-0f0367469eba303706c0\" aria-expanded=\"false\" aria-controls=\"Collapse-0f0367469eba303706c0\">\n                                                            <div class=\"ekit_accordion_icon_left_group\">\n                                    <div class=\"ekit_accordion_normal_icon\">\n                                        <!-- Normal Icon -->\n                                        <i class=\"icon icon-plus\"><\/i>                                    <\/div>\n\n                                    <div class=\"ekit_accordion_active_icon\">\n                                        <!-- Active Icon -->\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<i class=\"icon icon-minus\"><\/i>                                    <\/div>\n                                <\/div>\n\n                            \n                            <span class=\"ekit-accordion-title\">M\u1edf r\u1ed9ng Phi\u00ean \u00e2m<\/span>\n\n                            \n                                                    <\/a>\n                    <\/div>\n\n                    <div id=\"Collapse-0f0367469eba303706c0\" class=\"collapse\" aria-labelledby=\"primaryHeading-0-a17174a\" data-parent=\"#accordion-69eba303706c0\">\n\n                        <div class=\"elementskit-card-body ekit-accordion--content\">\n                            <p>Khi n\u00f3i chuy\u1ec7n v\u1edbi m\u1ed9t \u0111\u1ee9a tr\u1ebb xem l\u00e9n video ng\u01b0\u1eddi l\u1edbn, b\u1ea1n c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 th\u1ef1c hi\u1ec7n c\u00e1c b\u01b0\u1edbc sau:\n\n1.  **Gi\u1eef b\u00ecnh t\u0129nh v\u00e0 kh\u00f4ng ph\u00e1n x\u00e9t:** \u0110i\u1ec1u quan tr\u1ecdng l\u00e0 ph\u1ea3i ti\u1ebfp c\u1eadn cu\u1ed9c tr\u00f2 chuy\u1ec7n n\u00e0y m\u1ed9t c\u00e1ch b\u00ecnh t\u0129nh v\u00e0 kh\u00f4ng l\u00ean \u00e1n. \u0110\u1ee9a tr\u1ebb c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 c\u1ea3m th\u1ea5y x\u1ea5u h\u1ed5, s\u1ee3 h\u00e3i ho\u1eb7c b\u1ed1i r\u1ed1i, v\u00e0 ph\u1ea3n \u1ee9ng ti\u00eau c\u1ef1c c\u1ee7a b\u1ea1n c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 khi\u1ebfn ch\u00fang c\u00e0ng thu m\u00ecnh l\u1ea1i.\n\n2.  **Ch\u1ecdn th\u1eddi \u0111i\u1ec3m v\u00e0 \u0111\u1ecba \u0111i\u1ec3m th\u00edch h\u1ee3p:** T\u00ecm m\u1ed9t th\u1eddi \u0111i\u1ec3m ri\u00eang t\u01b0 v\u00e0 y\u00ean t\u0129nh khi c\u1ea3 b\u1ea1n v\u00e0 \u0111\u1ee9a tr\u1ebb \u0111\u1ec1u kh\u00f4ng b\u1ecb ph\u00e2n t\u00e2m. \u0110i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y s\u1ebd t\u1ea1o ra m\u1ed9t kh\u00f4ng gian an to\u00e0n h\u01a1n cho cu\u1ed9c tr\u00f2 chuy\u1ec7n.\n\n3.  **B\u1eaft \u0111\u1ea7u b\u1eb1ng s\u1ef1 quan t\u00e2m v\u00e0 lo l\u1eafng:** H\u00e3y cho \u0111\u1ee9a tr\u1ebb bi\u1ebft r\u1eb1ng b\u1ea1n quan t\u00e2m \u0111\u1ebfn ch\u00fang v\u00e0 lo l\u1eafng cho s\u1ef1 an to\u00e0n v\u00e0 h\u1ea1nh ph\u00fac c\u1ee7a ch\u00fang. B\u1ea1n c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 b\u1eaft \u0111\u1ea7u b\u1eb1ng nh\u1eefng c\u00e2u h\u1ecfi m\u1edf nh\u01b0: \"D\u1ea1o g\u1ea7n \u0111\u00e2y con c\u00f3 xem g\u00ec tr\u00ean m\u1ea1ng kh\u00f4ng? C\u00f3 \u0111i\u1ec1u g\u00ec khi\u1ebfn con t\u00f2 m\u00f2 hay kh\u00f4ng hi\u1ec3u kh\u00f4ng?\" ho\u1eb7c \"M\u1eb9\/B\u1ed1 nh\u1eadn th\u1ea5y con c\u00f3 v\u1ebb h\u01a1i kh\u00e1c d\u1ea1o n\u00e0y, c\u00f3 chuy\u1ec7n g\u00ec mu\u1ed1n chia s\u1ebb v\u1edbi m\u1eb9\/b\u1ed1 kh\u00f4ng?\"\n\n4.  **L\u1eafng nghe v\u00e0 th\u1ea5u hi\u1ec3u:** H\u00e3y cho \u0111\u1ee9a tr\u1ebb c\u01a1 h\u1ed9i n\u00f3i l\u00ean suy ngh\u0129 v\u00e0 c\u1ea3m x\u00fac c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh m\u00e0 kh\u00f4ng ng\u1eaft l\u1eddi ho\u1eb7c b\u00e1c b\u1ecf. C\u1ed1 g\u1eafng hi\u1ec3u l\u00fd do t\u1ea1i sao ch\u00fang l\u1ea1i xem nh\u1eefng lo\u1ea1i video \u0111\u00f3. C\u00f3 th\u1ec3 l\u00e0 do t\u00f2 m\u00f2, \u00e1p l\u1ef1c t\u1eeb b\u1ea1n b\u00e8, ho\u1eb7c \u0111\u01a1n gi\u1ea3n l\u00e0 kh\u00e1m ph\u00e1 gi\u1edbi t\u00ednh b\u1ea3n th\u00e2n.\n\n5.  **Cung c\u1ea5p th\u00f4ng tin \u0111\u00fang \u0111\u1eafn v\u00e0 ph\u00f9 h\u1ee3p v\u1edbi l\u1ee9a tu\u1ed5i:** Sau khi l\u1eafng nghe, h\u00e3y cung c\u1ea5p th\u00f4ng tin ch\u00ednh x\u00e1c v\u00e0 ph\u00f9 h\u1ee3p v\u1edbi l\u1ee9a tu\u1ed5i v\u1ec1 t\u00ecnh d\u1ee5c, c\u01a1 th\u1ec3, c\u00e1c m\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7 v\u00e0 s\u1ef1 an to\u00e0n tr\u00ean m\u1ea1ng. Gi\u1ea3i th\u00edch r\u1eb1ng nh\u1eefng g\u00ec ch\u00fang th\u1ea5y trong video c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 kh\u00f4ng ph\u1ea3n \u00e1nh th\u1ef1c t\u1ebf v\u00e0 c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 g\u00e2y h\u1ea1i.\n\n6.  **Nh\u1ea5n m\u1ea1nh v\u1ec1 s\u1ef1 an to\u00e0n v\u00e0 c\u00e1c r\u1ee7i ro:** Th\u1ea3o lu\u1eadn v\u1ec1 nh\u1eefng r\u1ee7i ro li\u00ean quan \u0111\u1ebfn n\u1ed9i dung ng\u01b0\u1eddi l\u1edbn, bao g\u1ed3m c\u1ea3 vi\u1ec7c ti\u1ebfp x\u00fac v\u1edbi n\u1ed9i dung kh\u00f4ng ph\u00f9 h\u1ee3p, nguy c\u01a1 b\u1ecb l\u1eeba \u0111\u1ea3o, ho\u1eb7c c\u00e1c t\u01b0\u01a1ng t\u00e1c kh\u00f4ng an to\u00e0n tr\u00ean m\u1ea1ng.\n\n7.  **Thi\u1ebft l\u1eadp ranh gi\u1edbi v\u00e0 quy t\u1eafc r\u00f5 r\u00e0ng:** \u0110\u1eb7t ra c\u00e1c quy t\u1eafc r\u00f5 r\u00e0ng v\u1ec1 vi\u1ec7c s\u1eed d\u1ee5ng internet v\u00e0 c\u00e1c thi\u1ebft b\u1ecb \u0111i\u1ec7n t\u1eed. Gi\u1ea3i th\u00edch l\u00fd do \u0111\u1eb1ng sau nh\u1eefng quy t\u1eafc n\u00e0y, nh\u1ea5n m\u1ea1nh v\u00e0o s\u1ef1 an to\u00e0n v\u00e0 s\u1ee9c kh\u1ecfe c\u1ee7a ch\u00fang.\n\n8.  **Khuy\u1ebfn kh\u00edch giao ti\u1ebfp c\u1edfi m\u1edf:** T\u1ea1o ra m\u1ed9t m\u00f4i tr\u01b0\u1eddng m\u00e0 \u0111\u1ee9a tr\u1ebb c\u1ea3m th\u1ea5y tho\u1ea3i m\u00e1i khi n\u00f3i chuy\u1ec7n v\u1edbi b\u1ea1n v\u1ec1 b\u1ea5t k\u1ef3 \u0111i\u1ec1u g\u00ec, k\u1ec3 c\u1ea3 nh\u1eefng ch\u1ee7 \u0111\u1ec1 nh\u1ea1y c\u1ea3m. H\u00e3y cho ch\u00fang bi\u1ebft r\u1eb1ng b\u1ea1n lu\u00f4n s\u1eb5n s\u00e0ng l\u1eafng nghe v\u00e0 gi\u00fap \u0111\u1ee1.\n\n9.  **T\u1eadp trung v\u00e0o gi\u1ea3i ph\u00e1p v\u00e0 h\u1ed7 tr\u1ee3:** Thay v\u00ec ch\u1ec9 tr\u1eebng ph\u1ea1t, h\u00e3y t\u1eadp trung v\u00e0o vi\u1ec7c gi\u00fap \u0111\u1ee1 \u0111\u1ee9a tr\u1ebb hi\u1ec3u v\u00e0 x\u1eed l\u00fd t\u00ecnh hu\u1ed1ng n\u00e0y. \u0110\u1ec1 ngh\u1ecb h\u1ed7 tr\u1ee3 v\u00e0 c\u00f9ng nhau t\u00ecm ra c\u00e1ch \u0111\u1ec3 ch\u00fang tr\u00e1nh xa nh\u1eefng n\u1ed9i dung kh\u00f4ng ph\u00f9 h\u1ee3p trong t\u01b0\u01a1ng lai.\n\n10. **T\u00ecm ki\u1ebfm s\u1ef1 gi\u00fap \u0111\u1ee1 chuy\u00ean nghi\u1ec7p n\u1ebfu c\u1ea7n:** N\u1ebfu b\u1ea1n c\u1ea3m th\u1ea5y kh\u00f3 kh\u0103n trong vi\u1ec7c x\u1eed l\u00fd t\u00ecnh hu\u1ed1ng, ho\u1eb7c n\u1ebfu v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 c\u00f3 v\u1ebb nghi\u00eam tr\u1ecdng, \u0111\u1eebng ng\u1ea7n ng\u1ea1i t\u00ecm ki\u1ebfm s\u1ef1 gi\u00fap \u0111\u1ee1 t\u1eeb c\u00e1c chuy\u00ean gia t\u01b0 v\u1ea5n t\u00e2m l\u00fd tr\u1ebb em ho\u1eb7c gi\u00e1o d\u1ee5c gi\u1edbi t\u00ednh.<\/p><p>This is something I\u2019ve spent a lot of time on over the last 20\u201325 years. In situations like this, the conversation needs to focus on awareness of the impact that this kind of content can have on the mind. So I want to educate my child and help them understand that there are things that can influence and change us.<\/p><p>I might use resources like educational websites or videos to help them understand what this can do to them. In our culture, a lot of people minimize it and say, \u201cIt\u2019s just an adult video,\u201d but it\u2019s more than that. It can affect the body\u2019s natural bonding systems.<\/p><p>Research shows that overexposure can impact a person\u2019s ability to develop meaningful relationships by affecting bonding chemicals like oxytocin and vasopressin. So what I want to do is educate my child without shame\u2014that\u2019s a very important part.<\/p><p>If my child feels shamed or labeled as bad, instead of being taught and guided, that can be harmful. As human beings, we are naturally curious and responsive to sexual content. That curiosity is normal. So I want to approach this with love, education, and understanding.<\/p><p>I want my child to understand what these experiences are doing to their mind and how they can influence behavior, but in a way that is non-shaming, validating, and supportive. That\u2019s when you\u2019ll have the most influence.<\/p><p>If the behavior becomes frequent or habitual, then you may need to increase support\u2014this could include reducing screen time, limiting access, or using filters to make content less accessible.<\/p><p>In today\u2019s world, many children are exposed to this type of content at a very young age\u2014often around age 11\u2014before they are emotionally ready to process it. Early exposure can make it more difficult because of the strong dopamine response it creates.<\/p><p>This isn\u2019t something you can simply talk away, because there are natural biological responses involved. That\u2019s why education, kindness, and healthy boundaries are key.<\/p><p>I\u2019ve heard many stories where parents respond with punishment or shame, telling a child they are \u201cbad.\u201d That\u2019s not helpful. The behavior may be concerning, but it does not define the child.<\/p><p>We have to be careful with our language and communicate in a loving, appropriate way, helping them build personal boundaries and understanding.<\/p>                        <\/div>\n\n                    <\/div>\n\n                <\/div><!-- .elementskit-card END -->\n\n                                        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dr. Kevin Skinner explains how parents should approach conversations with children who view adult content by focusing on education, emotional safety, and avoiding shame. He emphasizes teaching the impact on the brain, normalizing curiosity, and setting healthy boundaries with love and consistency.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":9841,"featured_media":82423,"menu_order":0,"template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"iawp_total_views":4},"categories":[313,318,227,230,222,219],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-82410","ask-a-therapist","type-ask-a-therapist","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-addiction","category-ask-a-therapist-live","category-behavior","category-general-self-help","category-parent-support","category-technology"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>What steps do you take to talk to a child who sneaks to watch adult videos? - Parent Guidance<\/title>\n<meta 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th\u1ebf n\u00e0o \u0111\u1ec3 ch\u00fang ta n\u00f3i chuy\u1ec7n v\u1edbi con g\u00e1i 16 tu\u1ed5i v\u1ec1 \u2018t\u1ed1ng ti\u1ec1n t\u00ecnh d\u1ee5c\u2019?"},"content":{"rendered":"<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"82409\" class=\"elementor elementor-82409\" data-elementor-post-type=\"ask-a-therapist\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b97dff1 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"b97dff1\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7a75e0c elementor-widget elementor-widget-video\" data-id=\"7a75e0c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;video_type&quot;:&quot;vimeo&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"video.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-wrapper elementor-open-inline\">\n\t\t\t<iframe class=\"elementor-video-iframe\" allowfullscreen allow=\"clipboard-write\" title=\"Tr\u00ecnh ph\u00e1t video vimeo\" src=\"https:\/\/player.vimeo.com\/video\/1185884242?color&amp;autopause=0&amp;loop=0&amp;muted=0&amp;title=0&amp;portrait=0&amp;byline=0#t=\"><\/iframe>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a17174a elementor-widget elementor-widget-elementskit-accordion\" data-id=\"a17174a\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"elementskit-accordion.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"ekit-wid-con\" >\n        <div class=\"elementskit-accordion accoedion-primary\" id=\"accordion-69eba2475f53f\">\n\n            \n                <div class=\"elementskit-card\">\n                    <div class=\"elementskit-card-header\" id=\"primaryHeading-0-a17174a\">\n                        <a href=\"#collapse-0f0367469eba2475f53f\" class=\"ekit-accordion--toggler elementskit-btn-link collapsed\" data-ekit-toggle=\"collapse\" data-target=\"#Collapse-0f0367469eba2475f53f\" aria-expanded=\"false\" aria-controls=\"Collapse-0f0367469eba2475f53f\">\n                                                            <div class=\"ekit_accordion_icon_left_group\">\n                                    <div class=\"ekit_accordion_normal_icon\">\n                                        <!-- Normal Icon -->\n                                        <i class=\"icon icon-plus\"><\/i>                                    <\/div>\n\n                                    <div class=\"ekit_accordion_active_icon\">\n                                        <!-- Active Icon -->\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<i class=\"icon icon-minus\"><\/i>                                    <\/div>\n                                <\/div>\n\n                            \n                            <span class=\"ekit-accordion-title\">M\u1edf r\u1ed9ng Phi\u00ean \u00e2m<\/span>\n\n                            \n                                                    <\/a>\n                    <\/div>\n\n                    <div id=\"Collapse-0f0367469eba2475f53f\" class=\"collapse\" aria-labelledby=\"primaryHeading-0-a17174a\" data-parent=\"#accordion-69eba2475f53f\">\n\n                        <div class=\"elementskit-card-body ekit-accordion--content\">\n                            <p>How do we address sextortion with our 16-year-old daughter?<\/p><p>There are two parts to this, and this is a much more difficult situation. In cases like this, you likely need to get an attorney and contact your local police department or police station.<\/p><p>People don\u2019t always like hearing that, but with sextortion, what\u2019s happening is someone is threatening to post images on various platforms. I\u2019ve seen situations like this personally, where a teenager shared that it had happened to them. My response was to go to the police station.<\/p><p>What\u2019s important to understand is that sending nude images of anyone under 18 is illegal because it is considered child pornography. Most people\u2014both teens and adults\u2014don\u2019t fully understand that.<\/p><p>When you go to the police, you explain what has happened. In one case, the guidance was to delete social media accounts like Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok to prevent distribution. If those images are shared, that is also illegal.<\/p><p>It\u2019s important to contact platform support and take immediate action. At the same time, you must support your child emotionally. There have been cases where individuals have died by suicide because of situations like this.<\/p><p>Your child needs to feel validated, loved, and supported. They need to know they matter and that you will work through this together. Creating that sense of safety is critical.<\/p><p>Education is also key. I\u2019ve shared real examples with my own children to help them understand that this is happening, sometimes from people in other countries who attempt to extort money by threatening to release images.<\/p><p>We need to educate and inform our children so they understand the risks, and we need to do it in a loving and supportive way.<\/p>                        <\/div>\n\n                    <\/div>\n\n                <\/div><!-- .elementskit-card END -->\n\n                                        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dr. Kevin Skinner addresses the serious issue of sextortion, emphasizing the need for legal involvement, immediate action with authorities and platforms, and strong emotional support for the child. He highlights the importance of education and open communication to help prevent and navigate these situations.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":9841,"featured_media":82424,"menu_order":0,"template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"iawp_total_views":4},"categories":[318,227,230,222,219,319],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-82409","ask-a-therapist","type-ask-a-therapist","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ask-a-therapist-live","category-behavior","category-general-self-help","category-parent-support","category-technology","category-teen"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>How do we address \u2018sextortion\u2019 with our 16-year-old daughter? - Parent Guidance<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" 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th\u1ebf n\u00e0o \u0111\u1ec3 t\u00f4i qu\u1ea3n l\u00fd s\u1ef1 m\u1ea5t c\u00e2n b\u1eb1ng gi\u1eefa c\u00e1ch cha m\u1eb9 t\u00f4i nu\u00f4i d\u1ea1y con c\u00e1i v\u00e0 c\u00e1ch t\u00f4i nu\u00f4i d\u1ea1y con c\u00e1i?"},"content":{"rendered":"<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"82408\" class=\"elementor elementor-82408\" data-elementor-post-type=\"ask-a-therapist\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b97dff1 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"b97dff1\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7a75e0c elementor-widget elementor-widget-video\" data-id=\"7a75e0c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;video_type&quot;:&quot;vimeo&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"video.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-wrapper elementor-open-inline\">\n\t\t\t<iframe class=\"elementor-video-iframe\" allowfullscreen allow=\"clipboard-write\" title=\"Tr\u00ecnh ph\u00e1t video vimeo\" src=\"https:\/\/player.vimeo.com\/video\/1185884244?color&amp;autopause=0&amp;loop=0&amp;muted=0&amp;title=0&amp;portrait=0&amp;byline=0#t=\"><\/iframe>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a17174a elementor-widget elementor-widget-elementskit-accordion\" data-id=\"a17174a\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"elementskit-accordion.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"ekit-wid-con\" >\n        <div class=\"elementskit-accordion accoedion-primary\" id=\"accordion-69eba18b9fa10\">\n\n            \n                <div class=\"elementskit-card\">\n                    <div class=\"elementskit-card-header\" id=\"primaryHeading-0-a17174a\">\n                        <a href=\"#collapse-0f0367469eba18b9fa10\" class=\"ekit-accordion--toggler elementskit-btn-link collapsed\" data-ekit-toggle=\"collapse\" data-target=\"#Collapse-0f0367469eba18b9fa10\" aria-expanded=\"false\" aria-controls=\"Collapse-0f0367469eba18b9fa10\">\n                                                            <div class=\"ekit_accordion_icon_left_group\">\n                                    <div class=\"ekit_accordion_normal_icon\">\n                                        <!-- Normal Icon -->\n                                        <i class=\"icon icon-plus\"><\/i>                                    <\/div>\n\n                                    <div class=\"ekit_accordion_active_icon\">\n                                        <!-- Active Icon -->\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<i class=\"icon icon-minus\"><\/i>                                    <\/div>\n                                <\/div>\n\n                            \n                            <span class=\"ekit-accordion-title\">M\u1edf r\u1ed9ng Phi\u00ean \u00e2m<\/span>\n\n                            \n                                                    <\/a>\n                    <\/div>\n\n                    <div id=\"Collapse-0f0367469eba18b9fa10\" class=\"collapse\" aria-labelledby=\"primaryHeading-0-a17174a\" data-parent=\"#accordion-69eba18b9fa10\">\n\n                        <div class=\"elementskit-card-body ekit-accordion--content\">\n                            <p>L\u00e0m th\u1ebf n\u00e0o \u0111\u1ec3 t\u00f4i qu\u1ea3n l\u00fd s\u1ef1 m\u1ea5t c\u00e2n b\u1eb1ng gi\u1eefa c\u00e1ch cha m\u1eb9 t\u00f4i nu\u00f4i d\u1ea1y con c\u00e1i v\u00e0 c\u00e1ch t\u00f4i nu\u00f4i d\u1ea1y con c\u00e1i?<\/p><p>In a situation like that, you're probably not going to be able to have influence on what your ex-spouse does. This is just the way it works. When you go through a divorce, you can't influence how the other parent parents.<\/p><p>What you need to do is stay focused on the love, because love is more important than clothes. Love is more important than shoes. Love is more important than devices. Love is more important than your presence, your availability. They know you love them. They know you care about them. It\u2019s going to, long-term, have more influence.<\/p><p>If the children say, \u201cWell, why aren\u2019t we getting clothes?\u201d you can respond, \u201cYou know what? There are things I can\u2019t control. All I can tell you is that I care about you and I love you, and I wish I had those kinds of resources. I don\u2019t have those kinds of resources.\u201d<\/p><p>In some situations, the other parent may be trying to reward or influence behavior, especially if children are choosing not to spend time with them. That dynamic may not feel fair\u2014and it isn\u2019t\u2014but it often reflects deeper relationship challenges.<\/p><p>Again, I can\u2019t emphasize this enough: your presence, your love, and your stability matter most. Don\u2019t speak negatively about the other parent. Let your children observe your consistency. Over time, they will make their own choices.<\/p><p>This is extremely difficult, but your consistency over time will win the day.<\/p>                        <\/div>\n\n                    <\/div>\n\n                <\/div><!-- .elementskit-card END -->\n\n                                        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dr. Kevin Skinner explains that in co-parenting situations, parents cannot control how their ex-partner parents. 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cha m\u1eb9 t\u1eeb ch\u1ed1i th\u1eeba nh\u1eadn nhu c\u1ea7u s\u1eeda ch\u1eefa, \u0111i\u1ec1u \u0111\u00f3 c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 g\u00e2y ra nh\u1eefng t\u00e1c \u0111\u1ed9ng sau:\n\n*   **S\u1ef1 leo thang c\u1ee7a v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1:** V\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 ban \u0111\u1ea7u c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 tr\u1edf n\u00ean t\u1ed3i t\u1ec7 h\u01a1n n\u1ebfu kh\u00f4ng \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c gi\u1ea3i quy\u1ebft, d\u1eabn \u0111\u1ebfn chi ph\u00ed s\u1eeda ch\u1eefa cao h\u01a1n ho\u1eb7c th\u1eadm ch\u00ed l\u00e0 h\u01b0 h\u1ecfng kh\u00f4ng th\u1ec3 s\u1eeda ch\u1eefa \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c.\n*   **\u1ea2nh h\u01b0\u1edfng \u0111\u1ebfn c\u00e1c m\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7:** Vi\u1ec7c kh\u00f4ng gi\u1ea3i quy\u1ebft nhu c\u1ea7u s\u1eeda ch\u1eefa c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 g\u00e2y ra xung \u0111\u1ed9t, c\u0103ng th\u1eb3ng v\u00e0 c\u00e3i v\u00e3 gi\u1eefa c\u00e1c th\u00e0nh vi\u00ean trong gia \u0111\u00ecnh.\n*   **Gi\u1ea3m gi\u00e1 tr\u1ecb t\u00e0i s\u1ea3n:** N\u1ebfu v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 li\u00ean quan \u0111\u1ebfn nh\u00e0 c\u1eeda ho\u1eb7c t\u00e0i s\u1ea3n, vi\u1ec7c tr\u00ec ho\u00e3n s\u1eeda ch\u1eefa c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 l\u00e0m gi\u1ea3m gi\u00e1 tr\u1ecb c\u1ee7a ch\u00fang.\n*   **\u1ea2nh h\u01b0\u1edfng \u0111\u1ebfn s\u1ef1 an to\u00e0n:** M\u1ed9t s\u1ed1 v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 s\u1eeda ch\u1eefa c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 g\u00e2y ra nguy hi\u1ec3m, ch\u1eb3ng h\u1ea1n nh\u01b0 r\u00f2 r\u1ec9 kh\u00ed gas, v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 v\u1ec1 \u0111i\u1ec7n ho\u1eb7c c\u1ea5u tr\u00fac kh\u00f4ng \u1ed5n \u0111\u1ecbnh.\n*   **T\u1ea1o ti\u1ec1n l\u1ec7 ti\u00eau c\u1ef1c:** Vi\u1ec7c cha m\u1eb9 t\u1eeb ch\u1ed1i gi\u1ea3i quy\u1ebft v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 d\u1ea1y cho con c\u00e1i th\u00f3i quen n\u00e9 tr\u00e1nh ho\u1eb7c ph\u1edbt l\u1edd tr\u00e1ch nhi\u1ec7m.\n*   **C\u1ea3m gi\u00e1c b\u1ea5t l\u1ef1c v\u00e0 th\u1ea5t v\u1ecdng:** C\u00e1c th\u00e0nh vi\u00ean kh\u00e1c trong gia \u0111\u00ecnh c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 c\u1ea3m th\u1ea5y b\u1ea5t l\u1ef1c v\u00e0 th\u1ea5t v\u1ecdng khi nhu c\u1ea7u c\u1ee7a h\u1ecd b\u1ecb ph\u1edbt l\u1edd."},"content":{"rendered":"<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"82407\" class=\"elementor elementor-82407\" data-elementor-post-type=\"ask-a-therapist\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b97dff1 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"b97dff1\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7a75e0c elementor-widget elementor-widget-video\" data-id=\"7a75e0c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;video_type&quot;:&quot;vimeo&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"video.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-wrapper elementor-open-inline\">\n\t\t\t<iframe class=\"elementor-video-iframe\" allowfullscreen allow=\"clipboard-write\" title=\"Tr\u00ecnh ph\u00e1t video vimeo\" src=\"https:\/\/player.vimeo.com\/video\/1185884496?color&amp;autopause=0&amp;loop=0&amp;muted=0&amp;title=0&amp;portrait=0&amp;byline=0#t=\"><\/iframe>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a17174a elementor-widget elementor-widget-elementskit-accordion\" data-id=\"a17174a\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"elementskit-accordion.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"ekit-wid-con\" >\n        <div class=\"elementskit-accordion accoedion-primary\" id=\"accordion-69eba10a44a46\">\n\n            \n                <div class=\"elementskit-card\">\n                    <div class=\"elementskit-card-header\" id=\"primaryHeading-0-a17174a\">\n                        <a href=\"#collapse-0f0367469eba10a44a46\" class=\"ekit-accordion--toggler elementskit-btn-link collapsed\" data-ekit-toggle=\"collapse\" data-target=\"#Collapse-0f0367469eba10a44a46\" aria-expanded=\"false\" aria-controls=\"Collapse-0f0367469eba10a44a46\">\n                                                            <div class=\"ekit_accordion_icon_left_group\">\n                                    <div class=\"ekit_accordion_normal_icon\">\n                                        <!-- Normal Icon -->\n                                        <i class=\"icon icon-plus\"><\/i>                                    <\/div>\n\n                                    <div class=\"ekit_accordion_active_icon\">\n                                        <!-- Active Icon -->\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<i class=\"icon icon-minus\"><\/i>                                    <\/div>\n                                <\/div>\n\n                            \n                            <span class=\"ekit-accordion-title\">M\u1edf r\u1ed9ng Phi\u00ean \u00e2m<\/span>\n\n                            \n                                                    <\/a>\n                    <\/div>\n\n                    <div id=\"Collapse-0f0367469eba10a44a46\" class=\"collapse\" aria-labelledby=\"primaryHeading-0-a17174a\" data-parent=\"#accordion-69eba10a44a46\">\n\n                        <div class=\"elementskit-card-body ekit-accordion--content\">\n                            <p>Khi cha m\u1eb9 t\u1eeb ch\u1ed1i th\u1eeba nh\u1eadn nhu c\u1ea7u s\u1eeda ch\u1eefa, \u0111i\u1ec1u \u0111\u00f3 c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 g\u00e2y ra nh\u1eefng t\u00e1c \u0111\u1ed9ng sau:\n\n*   **S\u1ef1 leo thang c\u1ee7a v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1:** V\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 ban \u0111\u1ea7u c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 tr\u1edf n\u00ean t\u1ed3i t\u1ec7 h\u01a1n n\u1ebfu kh\u00f4ng \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c gi\u1ea3i quy\u1ebft, d\u1eabn \u0111\u1ebfn chi ph\u00ed s\u1eeda ch\u1eefa cao h\u01a1n ho\u1eb7c th\u1eadm ch\u00ed l\u00e0 h\u01b0 h\u1ecfng kh\u00f4ng th\u1ec3 s\u1eeda ch\u1eefa \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c.\n*   **\u1ea2nh h\u01b0\u1edfng \u0111\u1ebfn c\u00e1c m\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7:** Vi\u1ec7c kh\u00f4ng gi\u1ea3i quy\u1ebft nhu c\u1ea7u s\u1eeda ch\u1eefa c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 g\u00e2y ra xung \u0111\u1ed9t, c\u0103ng th\u1eb3ng v\u00e0 c\u00e3i v\u00e3 gi\u1eefa c\u00e1c th\u00e0nh vi\u00ean trong gia \u0111\u00ecnh.\n*   **Gi\u1ea3m gi\u00e1 tr\u1ecb t\u00e0i s\u1ea3n:** N\u1ebfu v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 li\u00ean quan \u0111\u1ebfn nh\u00e0 c\u1eeda ho\u1eb7c t\u00e0i s\u1ea3n, vi\u1ec7c tr\u00ec ho\u00e3n s\u1eeda ch\u1eefa c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 l\u00e0m gi\u1ea3m gi\u00e1 tr\u1ecb c\u1ee7a ch\u00fang.\n*   **\u1ea2nh h\u01b0\u1edfng \u0111\u1ebfn s\u1ef1 an to\u00e0n:** M\u1ed9t s\u1ed1 v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 s\u1eeda ch\u1eefa c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 g\u00e2y ra nguy hi\u1ec3m, ch\u1eb3ng h\u1ea1n nh\u01b0 r\u00f2 r\u1ec9 kh\u00ed gas, v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 v\u1ec1 \u0111i\u1ec7n ho\u1eb7c c\u1ea5u tr\u00fac kh\u00f4ng \u1ed5n \u0111\u1ecbnh.\n*   **T\u1ea1o ti\u1ec1n l\u1ec7 ti\u00eau c\u1ef1c:** Vi\u1ec7c cha m\u1eb9 t\u1eeb ch\u1ed1i gi\u1ea3i quy\u1ebft v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 d\u1ea1y cho con c\u00e1i th\u00f3i quen n\u00e9 tr\u00e1nh ho\u1eb7c ph\u1edbt l\u1edd tr\u00e1ch nhi\u1ec7m.\n*   **C\u1ea3m gi\u00e1c b\u1ea5t l\u1ef1c v\u00e0 th\u1ea5t v\u1ecdng:** C\u00e1c th\u00e0nh vi\u00ean kh\u00e1c trong gia \u0111\u00ecnh c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 c\u1ea3m th\u1ea5y b\u1ea5t l\u1ef1c v\u00e0 th\u1ea5t v\u1ecdng khi nhu c\u1ea7u c\u1ee7a h\u1ecd b\u1ecb ph\u1edbt l\u1edd.<\/p><p>When the parent refuses to recognize there's a need for repair, then if I\u2019m the child, I might not recognize that. If I\u2019m the other parent or if I\u2019m in that situation and they just say, \u201cWell, I didn\u2019t do anything wrong,\u201d the child themselves may give that feedback because the child will naturally pull away, pull back. And that\u2019s probably a natural part of that. A child will naturally pull back\u2014you can\u2019t control that part.<\/p><p>But again, whether they recognize it or not, I\u2019m going to stay present. And if I\u2019m in this relationship and it is my spouse, I might have a heart-to-heart conversation saying, \u201cLook, I just would like you to be aware that this is the feedback I\u2019m getting from our child\u2014this specific child\u2014and I\u2019m putting it out there because I want you to be aware of it. Then I\u2019m going to let you carry how you respond to that, because I don\u2019t want to get in the middle of that. But I just want to tell you what the child has said to me.\u201d<\/p><p>So now I\u2019m doing it in a way that I\u2019m staying out of that dynamic, but I am educating them and saying, \u201cLook, I know you want a relationship.\u201d Usually parents do\u2014they want a positive relationship. \u201cBut the child feels this way, and I\u2019m sharing that with you. And if you\u2019d like to talk with me about that, I\u2019d love to hear what you\u2019re feeling or what you\u2019re experiencing.\u201d<\/p>                        <\/div>\n\n                    <\/div>\n\n                <\/div><!-- .elementskit-card END -->\n\n                                        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dr. Kevin Skinner explains that when a parent refuses to acknowledge the need for emotional repair, children often respond by withdrawing. He emphasizes the importance of staying present and communicating feedback in a neutral, non-confrontational way between parents, allowing awareness without escalating conflict and supporting healthier relationships.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":9841,"featured_media":82426,"menu_order":0,"template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"iawp_total_views":4},"categories":[318,227,321,230,222],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-82407","ask-a-therapist","type-ask-a-therapist","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ask-a-therapist-live","category-behavior","category-divorce","category-general-self-help","category-parent-support"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>What is the effect when a parent refuses to 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class=\"elementskit-card-header\" id=\"primaryHeading-0-a17174a\">\n                        <a href=\"#collapse-0f0367469eba43f13b1a\" class=\"ekit-accordion--toggler elementskit-btn-link collapsed\" data-ekit-toggle=\"collapse\" data-target=\"#Collapse-0f0367469eba43f13b1a\" aria-expanded=\"false\" aria-controls=\"Collapse-0f0367469eba43f13b1a\">\n                                                            <div class=\"ekit_accordion_icon_left_group\">\n                                    <div class=\"ekit_accordion_normal_icon\">\n                                        <!-- Normal Icon -->\n                                        <i class=\"icon icon-plus\"><\/i>                                    <\/div>\n\n                                    <div class=\"ekit_accordion_active_icon\">\n                                        <!-- Active Icon -->\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<i class=\"icon icon-minus\"><\/i>                                    <\/div>\n                                <\/div>\n\n                            \n                            <span class=\"ekit-accordion-title\">M\u1edf r\u1ed9ng Phi\u00ean \u00e2m<\/span>\n\n                            \n                                                    <\/a>\n                    <\/div>\n\n                    <div id=\"Collapse-0f0367469eba43f13b1a\" class=\"collapse\" aria-labelledby=\"primaryHeading-0-a17174a\" data-parent=\"#accordion-69eba43f13b1a\">\n\n                        <div class=\"elementskit-card-body ekit-accordion--content\">\n                            <p>At what point does disconnection, a lack of connection, and feeling unprioritized by a parental figure become detrimental to a child's mental and emotional health?<\/p><p>What\u2019s interesting about that is I\u2019ll give two answers. First, research indicates that when we are disconnected and there is no repair, that\u2019s when problems begin. You can see this illustrated in the \u201cstill face experiment\u201d by Dr. Edward Tronick.<\/p><p>In this experiment, a mother interacts normally with her infant\u2014smiling, engaging, responding. Then suddenly, the mother becomes unresponsive and still-faced. The baby immediately senses the disconnection and tries to re-engage\u2014smiling, pointing, making noises. When the parent does not respond, the baby becomes distressed, turns away, and shows signs of emotional stress, even losing composure.<\/p><p>Even in a short period of time, lack of connection without repair creates distress. When a child feels disconnection and doesn\u2019t know how to repair it\u2014or it isn\u2019t repaired\u2014that\u2019s when long-term issues can develop, such as difficulty trusting others or insecure attachment patterns.<\/p><p>That\u2019s the first part: disconnection becomes harmful when there is no repair.<\/p><p>The second part is that children are incredibly resilient. Even if a primary caregiver is unavailable\u2014due to busyness, personal struggles, or other challenges\u2014a child can still thrive if there is another consistent, loving adult present. This could be a grandparent, teacher, neighbor, or mentor.<\/p><p>What children need most is someone. As has been said, \u201cEveryone needs somebody.\u201d If a child has a person who provides safety, presence, and love, that relationship can help offset other areas of disconnection.<\/p><p>In my clinical work, I often ask people to identify someone who nurtured them. Most can name someone\u2014a parent, grandparent, teacher, or other trusted adult. However, when someone cannot identify anyone, they often struggle more deeply with trust and connection.<\/p><p>Even then, healing is possible. When individuals begin to experience consistent, safe relationships\u2014even later in life\u2014they can start to rebuild trust and connection.<\/p><p>So, it\u2019s not about a specific point in time when harm becomes permanent. What matters most is whether connection and repair are present at some point.<\/p><p>Parents can also repair past disconnection by acknowledging it, taking responsibility, and working to reconnect. That ownership is powerful.<\/p><p>Children are resilient, but they are also vulnerable to unaddressed disconnection. The key is awareness, attunement, and a willingness to repair relationships when breaks occur.<\/p>                        <\/div>\n\n                    <\/div>\n\n                <\/div><!-- .elementskit-card END -->\n\n                                        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dr. Kevin Skinner explains that disconnection becomes harmful when it is not repaired, highlighting research like the \u201cstill face experiment.\u201d He emphasizes both the risks of ongoing disconnection and the resilience of children when at least one consistent, caring relationship is present.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":9841,"featured_media":82421,"menu_order":0,"template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"iawp_total_views":4},"categories":[318,227,230,222],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-82412","ask-a-therapist","type-ask-a-therapist","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ask-a-therapist-live","category-behavior","category-general-self-help","category-parent-support"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>At what point does disconnection, a lack of connection, and feeling unprioritized by a parental figure become detrimental to a child&#039;s mental and emotional health? 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