Next, how do we bridge the gap with parallel parenting?
I think this goes back to a very important question. Usually in situations like this, parallel parenting happens when parents are divorced, separated, or simply don’t parent the same way. They often have different goals or aspirations for how they approach raising their child.
The best thing we can do is identify our core values and what we want our children to learn. What I mean by that is: what’s the end goal for this child?
Most parents will agree on end goals. Even if they are divorced and don’t agree on many things, they usually share some vision for their child.
For example, both parents may want their child to be a good citizen. So how do we teach that? We want them to respect others, respect teachers, be productive, develop skills, and learn how to work.
Once we agree on those outcomes, the next step is asking: how do we get there? How do we help our child make choices that align with those goals?
That’s where parallel parenting becomes meaningful. We start with the desired goal and work backward. Parents can often find common ground by focusing on shared outcomes and then identifying ways to encourage behaviors that support those goals.
If you’re trying to work together in a parallel parenting situation, my suggestion is to start at the end. Ask: what do we want our child to know when they graduate and leave our home—or homes?
