A big concern that I hear all the time is: how do I get my kids to go back to school after the holidays? The first thing I want to say is, you’re not alone. This is a very common issue, and the most common reason—you can probably guess it—is that the routine is disrupted. Over the holidays, our bedtimes shift, there’s a lot more screen time, and overall, our structure is looser. When school returns, their bodies simply aren’t ready.
Another possible issue is academic stress. The break can create distance from school pressure, but returning means facing unfinished work or worries about grades. Avoiding school can temporarily reduce anxiety, but that’s only a short-term fix. The more they stay home, the more they may resist going back, which increases anxiety about school.
So what can we do? First, normalize that this is hard, but keep expectations. You can say something like, “I know going back to school after a break can feel tough, but school is something we’re going to continue with.” The balance of empathy and firmness is important.
Second, focus on rebuilding structure, especially if your child tends to struggle with transitions. Start moving bedtimes earlier in small increments leading up to the return to school. Set consistent wake-up times, even on weekends, and reduce late-night screen use. Creating structure often improves attendance more than lectures.
Third, stay curious. When talking with your child, ask questions like, “What feels hardest about going back to school right now?” Keep your tone calm and focus on gathering information rather than making a case.
Lastly, protect your relationship. Try not to let every interaction revolve around school attendance. Your connection with your child reduces resistance. Remember, you don’t have to solve everything at once. Start with structure, stay curious, and maintain your connection.
