I'm looking to help my child become more involved
and I want him to have friends and support.
Are there any programs for pre-teens
or teen boys that you would recommend?
How do I get my child involved?
That's a really good question.
I think there's probably two or three, uh, phases of this.
First, if I'm trying to get my child involved, one
of the first things I want to do is help them have
confidence in settings where they're going to be social.
So, specifically I might say, okay, why don't we find
kids in our neighborhood, uh, where they could come over.
We could have a party, we could have a pool party, a,
you know, get one of those small pools.
We could get, uh, a game someone could do in the backyard.
We could go on a hike with a friend.
We could do a pizza party.
The reason why is I want my child
to develop friendships, uh, to start with.
Because if we want our child to be more involved socially,
starting off with a smaller group,
maybe even one person would be a benefit.
So I would, I would consider that as an option.
The next part of it is to create, uh, an environment
where your child is developing a skill.
Sports arts, uh, chess club, music, whatever it is.
If your child's engaged in some of these activities,
they're going to increase their level of confidence
because they're developing a skill
and usually it's in a social setting.
So those are two things that we would like to start
with is if you're gonna get your child involved,
do it in a situation where they are developing a skill
and there's a social opportunity.
Team sports, uh, plays, uh,
playing a musical instrument are all incredibly beneficial
because you're having social interactions.
The earlier we start with that,
the more skill development our children
have critical concept.
We want our children to develop social skills.
The only way they do that is through practice.
Now, some of you are gonna have children
who are maybe shy, they're reserved.
And the way that we can do that,
there is a research study done a few years ago
that we can actually turn the shyness gene up
or down what we call, how it's manifest
by our specific interactions
or encouraging certain interactions.
So we can change the manifestation of, uh,
say a shyness gene by exposing our children to a,
an environment that's maybe a little bit uncomfortable,
but not too uncomfortable.
And that's why I suggest starting with something small,
a neighborhood, uh, friend, somebody who could come over,
we could do some activities
or introducing your child
to friends in different scenarios or situations.
A biking club, a swimming club, something
that's gonna get them engaged in a sport.
Uh, again, something that's gonna get them out
of their comfort zone can turn down
that shyness gene if they can start
having positive interactions.
Now the other thing, as a parent, the thing
that we can do is actually role play with our children
and get them to practice how we do things.
Teach social skills, conversation strategies.
And these are all things that as parents,
we can encourage our child to do,
but we can also do it with them.
So give them situation in a social situation,
what they might, uh, say,
or how to be curious about it,
what another person's experience,
or giving another person a compliment.
These are all potential solutions
to help your child get more comfortable in a social setting.
