So this next question coming in, and this is such a good question:
How can I as a parent keep an open relationship so my child feels comfortable talking to me about anything, but still maintain that parent-child relationship?
Yeah, so I think the biggest part—going back to what I said earlier—is that when we feel safe, we’re more likely to bond or connect, right?
Safety is the foundation of every healthy relationship.
So I’m going to be more prone to open up to you if I feel safe in your presence. That’s just the way we operate.
So, really important part there is: I feel safe in your presence. That’s the foundation.
The next part is, if your child is maybe struggling with something, your ability to get them to open up is usually going to be through curiosity—without judgment.
So, ask questions like, “I’m wondering what this is like,” or, “When I was your age, these kinds of things were going on. Are you experiencing that?”
Sometimes sharing your own experience can actually help them as well.
That may be something to take into account—sharing some of your own experiences.
But remember, curiosity is an advantage. You just want to be a curious parent.
Curiosity allows them to know that you’re interested.
It also helps you understand a little bit more of what’s going on in their mind.
Teenagers in general don’t like to answer questions. They’re more likely to give a grunt or a short “uh-huh,” “yeah,” or “it’s fine.”
That’s typical—just understand that. Don’t take it personally; that’s just how it usually is.
So maybe it’s also about reworking some of our questions.
Instead of “How was your day?” try something like:
“What was the most interesting part of your day?”
“What was the best or most difficult part of your day?”
Those types of questions will better help us prepare for the kinds of conversations we’re hoping to have.
