How do I motivate my three-year-old toddler
to do basic tasks like get dressed for school in the morning
or get ready for bed at night?
Oh three-year-old's a little bit more difficult.
And here's the reason why.
Three-year-olds, we really should call it.
I, I know this is a phrase
'cause I have a, a lot of children, they used
to say it was the terrible twos.
I actually think early twos are a fantastic time.
We get into late twos and early threes.
The most common word you hear from a child at that age is,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no resistance.
That's just the reality.
So we have to understand what it does to us
when our child says no.
Right? We're the adult. We're the authority, right?
They should obey us. Let's put down that for a second.
Now, there are different solutions or strategies.
One of the best is a reward.
Children, typically, especially young children,
respond to rewards.
Hey, why don't you get dressed?
And we will B, B, B, whatever that positive thing is.
So identify something that your child would say would
be a reward for them.
And say, I invite you to, right?
And when you're done, we're gonna do da, da, da, da.
Now, what you're in essence doing is you're
rewarding positive behavior.
Now, some people don't like that approach
because they think it's like bribing a child.
But we have to understand the mindset of a three-year-old.
Their initial response will probably be no.
And that is across the board.
That's how developmentally young three-year-olds respond.
And so if we understand that developmentally,
then we understand that's what we should expect.
So now your child's, you want them to get dressed,
you've got the clothes there.
Now you do a reward. Reward something positive.
Hey, let's get dressed and then we will eat.
We'll go for a walk before school. Whatever it may be.
You give yourself enough time so the child sees the benefit.
Now, if your child is resistant, play a game with them.
Play a game with them. Be with them. Hey, I'm here to help.
Let's see how fast we can do it.
And what you're trying to do is you're trying
to create an environment where they're getting
your attention too.
Because really they want your attention.
That's really what young children want. They want attention.
And so we give it to 'em in many different ways.
Hey, when you're done, I've got a treat in there.
Or we're going to go after.
If you'll do this today
and you'll do it every day, then we're going
to finish that out.
You've got the reward. I'm very much into
rewards with young children.
I'm also into the concept of helping them out,
being present with them.
Because again, children want your attention.
Sometimes their no is the way that they get your attention.
They're reading you, they're reading you.
And when they can't read you,
they might throw a temper tantrum.
So a smile, you got this, Hey, let's turn on the music
and I'm gonna see how fast you can do it.
Oh, wow. That was 20 seconds. That was 25.
That was a half of, wow, that was 30. Good job. Today.
They, uh, really respond to praise,
which is my final comment here.
Give them praise every time they do something right.
Well done. Excellent, man. That was a really good job today.
Then they're getting the praise, the positive.
It's reinforcing what's good rather than the no, no, no, no.
Do what I say. Do what I say. Do what I say.
Damn, you're gonna be much more effective
with positive praise.
