These two questions are about the fires and a family that has lost their home to the fire. They’re wondering what to say and what not to say. We really recommend reaching out to a coach and another family who has a family member who has lost their home to understand what to say and what not to say.
First of all, my heart goes out to everyone. What horrible situations we’ve seen in California recently. My heart goes out to those individuals who have lost homes. A home is a place where we create memories and experiences, but homes can be rebuilt. It’s going to take time, and there’s nothing easy about this. I don’t want to minimize it at all.
I am concerned about helping us find resiliency and strength. We are strong. You are strong. Over time, there will be solutions that will come, though it’s not going to be easy on parents, and it’s not going to be easy on children. Schools have been burned down, and there’s nothing easy about this process. But what I know about us is that we’re very resilient people. During Covid, we found ways to do things virtually, and that resiliency principle is something we want our children to understand: we do hard things. We find solutions. We don’t always know them, and there’s not always an easy answer, but we will find solutions.
The message we send is that there is hope. We don’t know what it looks like now, but we are fighters. We’re going to figure out answers. So, the message you send to your child is: I love that home. I love the memories we have there, but in this life, we will find alternative and additional solutions. It’s going to take time, but I want you to know you’re safe with us. We’re going to protect you, and we’ll do the best we can.
If they have nightmares or things like that, you want to transition and make sure they have therapeutic support to help them through the difficult symptoms that you may be seeing as a parent.
