My kid has a mild type of autism. He sometimes hits himself and many times he calls himself stupid or dumb every time he makes a mistake. What can I do to help him be okay with mistakes?
Very similar to what we were just talking about, right? When a child makes mistakes, we’re trying to change the dialogue. If my child was saying 'I’m so stupid' or whatever, there are a couple of things I would want to do. One is, it’s probably the child’s way of dealing with some internal stress or angst. Your child is likely struggling to regulate this stress inside the body.
I would encourage you to look up something called the Safe and Sound Protocol. It’s designed to help with the sound that comes into the ears and vibrates in a way that helps access the vagus nerve and can help your child calm down. This is especially effective for children with autism.
The second thing is to address the language your child is using with themselves. When I hear my child say things like 'I’m stupid', I might say, 'I think you’re cool. I think you’re awesome. I care about you.' I would counter their negative self-talk by offering affirmations and encourage them to say something like, 'My mom or my dad thinks I’m awesome.'
This approach helps your child reframe their response to feeling anxious. It’s not that they think they’re stupid, but rather that they’re feeling anxious or stressed. Helping them relax their body is a good solution in these situations.
