Let's talk about this one.
My son is in TK or pre-K, and this family's son is also autistic. He is being bullied at school by three boys in special ed, and he has cried himself to sleep and is scared of attending school.
How can I help him?
There are three things that come to my mind there.
One, at that young age, I would want to look for alternatives, if that's even a possibility. Sometimes, it is not worth being in an environment that is that painful because what you're finding is you're going to get a lot of resistance from this child.
The next part of it is getting solutions that are helpful with your child. Maybe talking to the school, the leaders, whoever's in charge, and just saying, "I need another solution. This can't continue on. Otherwise, we're going to have to find a different alternative." It's not worth it to put your child in an environment where they're not safe.
If they can't protect them at the school, it is not worth it to be in that kind of an environment. Life has so many traumatic experiences without those things. We want to find an environment where our child, again, from my perspective, can feel safe.
One of the critical things that I want to emphasize here is human connection occurs only when we feel safe. When you stop trusting people in society because you consistently don't feel safe, that becomes a problem for all of our society.
So, I would check the environment, talk with the administrators or the teachers or whoever's in charge, and be very frank and stand up for yourself, your child, and protection.
The next part of that, if there are solutions, is talking. Again, this may or may not be possible, but talking with the other parents about your concerns. Usually, it's a team approach to take such things and stop them.
If the environment can't change, I would consider removing my child from that environment, especially at that age—very formative years.
The other part of that, and this is something that I would want to share with everybody because it's a tool for helping with anxiety, but it's also a tool for helping with autism: There's research coming out of something called the Safe and Sound Protocol.
Dr. Stephen Porges is the founder of it. They have found that through sound, they are able to help individuals access the vagus nerve, which actually helps calm the body.
One of the core solutions that I have incorporated into my clinical practice is called the Safe and Sound Protocol. It's designed to help individuals with anxiety. It helps to slow down their mind. There’s research they’re working on that it also helps individuals.
It doesn’t solve it, but children with Asperger’s have been found to benefit from it—it helps regulate difficult emotions.
So again, there’s a resource for you.
I’m a big advocate of taking a stand against behaviors that hurt or harm. Reaching out, like you are tonight, speaks to your care.
I wish you and your child the best there because your child, our children, they need to feel safe. We do our best to create that environment, and my hope is that you can do that because it’s so needed.
