My High School Student’s Mom Died By Suicide, I Don’t Know What To Do

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My high school student's mom died by suicide. As a teacher, I don't know what to say. Oh, I'm glad you're asking the question, because sometimes our, it's not our words, it's actually our, what we don't say. And, and what I mean by that is sometimes we think we have to say something the right way. Sometimes it's just our presence. Sometimes it's just a, a simple message of, Hey, I'm thinking about you. I heard what happened, and I want you to know that I'm thinking of you. If you'd ever like to talk, I'd love to support and help you in any way I could. That would just be an example of something that you could say. Obviously it needs to be in your language, but in situations like that, the fact that you're asking the question in my mind speaks to who you are as a teacher. You care about your students, you wanna help them. And so sometimes it might be a message, sometimes it's, uh, invitation to talk after class if they, if they would be willing to, um, if, if you have that kind of a relationship, just opening, letting them open up and know that you're a place, a safe place where they can talk. And also, um, that recognizing that they may not want to talk and sometimes they have to work through things at their pace. So that's why giving them the freedom, Hey, if you would ever like to talk, I am here. And, and just observing how they're doing in class. Um, and, and all of those things would be a, uh, a way that you can help. I might also say that your entire class could offer support to that student. You might invite everybody in the class to write a note of care, A note, if I'm thinking about you, a kind note, because you don't know how people respond, right? You, you can form a perception that people don't understand me or people are judging me. But if everybody would take the time to write a note of concern and care, that would be a very valuable way to serve and to give to this person. Letting them know that you, everyone cares. Now, you might need to monitor that to make sure that things aren't, aren't said, that are inappropriate, right? So they turn the notes into you. But again, just making sure that there is, there's a kindness, an outreach and encouraging them to write every, it would be good actually for the entire class to write a caring note. Um, so again, that's not necessary. Doesn't have to happen. But when someone in our society is suffering, we have an opportunity to lift up, to strengthen to, and and that's really what I hear you saying that you would like to do. And so my invitation is, is to find a way to get others who genuinely care to offer that kind of emotional support. It will help, uh, the child feel like they're not alone. Like they don't have this, uh, I don't know, maybe this letter on them that everybody's looking at them thinking, oh, you are so and so, right? And I think that that kind of love and connection can make all the difference in the world.

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Dr. Kevin Skinner