How to go from being the Grandma to being the Parent

I am a grandma who is raising kids. I'm having a hard time going from grandma to parent. Hmm. That is a really good question because one of the things that we're looking at today is more and more grandparents are parenting because of our economic situation. You know, uh, parents working longer hours and, and so the grandparents, much like the model of what was happening in China where, uh, grandparents were actually helping raise the children. So I, I guess a couple things there. Uh, shifting it from the role of grandparent, which is nice to have, uh, you know, the children over and then send 'em home with their parents. Sounds like you're spending, uh, more time and you're the primary person in charge of them. So my initial response to you is, first of all, thank you. Uh, uh, you probably haven't heard too many people say that lately, but thank you for taking the time because every child needs an environment where they are cared about, where they're taken care of, and that their, their, their needs are put at the forefront. So, thank you, first and foremost. Next question is, okay, how do we best do this? Because your grandchildren today are not the children, and it's not the same environment that your children grew up in or that you grew up in. And, and so how to be kind and caring with boundaries and create an environment where they can learn and grow and have expectations that are appropriate. And so my suggestion would be a, uh, I, I'm gonna, uh, go back to our, our website parenting guidance.org. We have, uh, some core foundational courses on attachment because if your, if your grandchildren are staying with you, I'm gonna guess there's a reason for that. Now, I don't need to know the reason, but there is a reason and that it's probably, uh, difficult for your grandchildren to not have as much interaction with their parents or trust in their parents. So I think it's important to first start at this point if there, we know there's a disconnect for some reason with their parents. And, and so the challenge is still to create an environment of attachment where they have core components. They need to know that they're loved, they didn't know that they're still boundaries with that love. Meaning you can't just go willy-nilly chaotic, what we call chaotic parent or chaos based parenting because there's no rules and no guidelines. So we still wanna have appropriate structure, not controlling or too rigid. And that's the interesting thing, because we know that if it's too rigid or if it's, or we're controlling or chaotic in it and there's no boundaries, then we begin to see in these two types of parenting styles, it doesn't work well. So we wanna have structure and expectations with love and kindness. And so I would recommend that you go to some of the courses on parent guidance.org, and especially the ones on attachment and depending on the age of your grandchildren, I would want, I encourage you to go through some of those courses because to me, um, the more information you have today on attachment and connection, probably the better off you it will be for you and the, and, and for your grandchildren. So I just want to, uh, maybe give those suggestions. And then the final thought I have is when you don't know there's information, get more information, like, I don't know how to do this, or, or go get information. Maybe talk to other parents who, uh, you're observing and say, Hey, this seems like they're doing well. How are they doing certain things? Data, information. Go get as much of it as you can, which will help you as, as you, uh, parent your grandchildren.