Helping Your Child Succeed:Why Types of Parenting Styles Matter

A universal part of raising children is wanting them to succeed at whatever they do. For some children, it’s art, music, or writing. For others, it’s sports, schoolwork, or technology. Later in life they will hopefully go on to succeed in their chosen career or vocation.

But how can you help your child succeed in life, while not being overbearing? The types of parenting styles you use play a big part in your child being able to find success on their own.

If you understand these different styles, you can create a nurturing environment for your child.

There are three main parts:

• Parental warmth
• Behavioral control
• And psychological control

Dr. Kevin Skinner is a Clinical Director and Marriage and Family Therapist. He shared more about these factors, and why they’re important in helping your child succeed.

Positive Parenting: The Importance of Parental Warmth in Child Development

To help your child succeed, you need a strong foundation. That comes from a household full of parental warmth, Skinner said. You don’t have to be the child’s biological parent to show parental warmth.

What is parental warmth?

Parental warmth has a big impact on children. It helps children’s social, emotional, and academic well-being, Skinner said.

There are many ways to create a warm environment. Some positive parenting tips to create warmth are:

• Share genuine smiles
• Have meaningful conversations with your children
• Share quality time with them.

A smile is one simple way to brighten your child’s day, and to form bonds with them.

Meaningful conversations mean you actively listen, show empathy, and ask open-ended questions. When it comes to quality time, turn off electronics and put away devices. Focus on shared activities that will create lasting memories.

How Controlling Behaviors Positively Leads to Successful Children

Behavioral control is the second element. This refers to rules and expectations parents have for their child’s behavior. Balance is important in this, Skinner said.

You don’t want to dominate your child’s life, but you do want to influence their decision-making in a positive way. Too much controlling behavior can lead to your child rebelling. Children need some freedom to explore (with safe boundaries).

And when a child makes the wrong choice? Help them learn from their lessons. Failure is a great teaching tool. The most lasting lessons are learned through trial and error.

Children can’t become independent if they never make choices for themselves. You don’t want to act like a helicopter parent, doing everything for your child.

If you don’t jump in to save your child from every problem, they will learn that failure is not final. They can survive mistakes, even if they hurt, according to Harvard Medical School (McCarthy, 2019).

Avoiding Psychological Control as a Parenting Style

Skinner said it’s important to avoid psychologically controlling their children. Don’t manipulate their emotions or self-esteem to get them to comply, he said.

Giving children choices empowers them and gives them their own sense of control. This can be simple, like asking a young child which shirt out of two choices they want to wear.

When children are responsible for their own success, they feel empowered. “Psychology Today” says there are many benefits to children managing themselves (Schwartz, 2020).

How Failure can Lead to Resilience

One key to a successful, happy child is confidence. How can you help your child develop confidence that leads to success? It may seem counterintuitive, but one sure way is through failure.

Parents can give their children room to fail. Treat a child’s mistakes with empathy. Help them view failures as learning opportunities. Reward learning and hard work, not immediate success, said Parenting author Esther Wojcicki. You can also help your child by sharing errors you’ve made and how you solved the problem and learned in the process (Huddleston, 2024).

Adversity is one of the best ways to build resilience in children. Studies show that healthy systems and people grow from adverse disruption. Treat setbacks as opportunities to learn. This way, you can help your child build resilience and a successful outlook on life.

Raising a Successful Child

A warm parenting style is one of the building blocks of the kind of home that leads to successful children. A caring parent who is empathetic, helping, and comforting, offers a model for their children to follow, according to the National Center for Biotechnology Information (Pastorelli et al, 2021).

Meanwhile, encouraging freedom to explore and fail will help your child learn resilience. All these elements are the first steps in raising a happy, successful child.