How do I support a teen in foster care who is dealing with past trauma?
Dr. Skinner explains that it is important to assume the teen is receiving professional help and support. He recommends communicating with the teen’s therapist to learn strategies that can be implemented at home, while also sharing observations and feedback. Supporting a foster youth should be a collaborative effort focused on helping the child heal.
He notes that children in foster care often struggle with loss, separation, and attachment wounds. Being removed from a primary caregiver can create beliefs such as feeling unloved, unprotected, or abandoned. Recognizing these attachment injuries is essential when offering support.
Dr. Skinner emphasizes that influence with a foster teen must be earned, not assumed. He encourages caregivers and mentors to take on the role of a trusted confidant or friend—someone who listens without judgment and seeks to understand the teen’s experience rather than immediately giving advice.
He highlights the importance of prioritizing relationship over rules. Building trust, connection, and emotional safety comes before expectations or guidance. Developing a genuine relationship and sense of friendship is one of the most powerful ways to support a teen who has experienced trauma.
