Question: What mental health supports or strategies are available for a child who's being evaluated for an IEP in relation to their difficulty regulating emotions?
Dr. Kevin Skinner: The fact that we're using the term "emotional regulation" makes me excited because it means we're talking about dealing with emotions. That means the parent has done some research and work.
My favorite strategy is actually teaching about the Polyvagal Theory, created by Dr. Stephen Porges. It has a basic concept: imagine a ladder with different rungs.
Bottom Rung: The "Dorsal Vagal" shutdown. We are shut off.
Middle Rung: The "Fight or Flight" (autonomic nervous system). This is angry protection or fleeing.
Top Rung: The "Ventral Vagal." This is where we feel calm, relaxed, and able to see things around us. We can look internally and see what we are feeling.
The vagus nerve is like the brakes of the body. When we can relax or calm the body, we can see social situations and problems more effectively.
For a child going in for an IEP (Individualized Education Program), helping them learn how to deal with fears and worries is key. The Safe and Sound Protocol can help relax the mind. Here are a couple of simple examples you can try:
The Basic Exercise: You can find this on Google or YouTube. It helps access the vagus nerve to put the "brakes" on our emotions.
Sounding "Voo": Making a low "voo" sound for a period of time creates a vibration that calms the vagus nerve.
Meditation and "Ohm": These types of sounds can also be self-soothing.
Teaching your child how to soothe themselves in stressful situations is a skill you can practice with them. We model what we want our children to understand. I used to do this with my own daughter by putting my head up to hers and making soothing sounds back and forth to help her access that "braking" system.
If you struggle with this, you can look up the Safe and Sound Protocol online. It involves listening to specially designed music through non-canceling headphones to stimulate the vagus nerve. It is used in hospitals and across the US and Canada. These are specific tools I use with clients who struggle to regulate. I encourage you to try the "Basic Exercise" with your child and see the outcome.
