How Can I Help My Child Be Less Sensitive?

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Sensitivity is an interesting one because, um, sensitivity can have a lot of different connotations. So for example, a child with, let's say Asperger's may be sensitive to sight and sound being overwhelmed in a social setting. So sensitivity in this situation is, is a little bit different. Um, I would wanna know specifically whether they're sensitive, sensitive to peers, sensitive to rejection, sensitive in that context, or sensitive physiologically. Let me address both of those for a second. Um, if it's sensitivity to sight to sound, um, then there is a possibility that there is a component of Asperger's. And there's something called the Safe and sound Protocol that researchers, uh, Dr. Steven Porges talks about accessing the vagus nerve, which actually helps children with autism. Asperger's, it actually helps with accessing the vagus nerve, which is kind of like the break of the body if we can just simplify it. And when we're in fight or flight, our body is truly, it's, it's expecting a fight. It's expecting that I need to run. Now if I can access the ventral vagus or the head heart connection, and if I can help my child feel calm, then what in essence I'm doing is I'm teaching my body how to regulate difficult emotions, which is a skill that as a society we really need to develop. Uh, this is everybody or everybody needs to develop their emotional intelligence, their emotional awareness, uh, I am feeling, I'm experiencing, and the ability to articulate that, that's what we wanna do with our children. So emotional, um, the ability to be aware of my emotions and to speak to those articulate them is really a helpful way. Now the other part of this is, let's say that they are feeling sensitivity and social situations, and I'm reading it that people don't like me. Then as a parent, I might ask a question. 'cause ultimately what I'm trying to do is I'm trying to get my child to talk. I'm trying to get them to open up. So help me understand, you said that nobody likes you, but that's an interesting thing. Wh when you say that nobody likes you, why do you think you, why do you think that way? Help me understand what you're experiencing there. Is there an event or event that make you feel like nobody likes you? Well, yeah, they up up and they tell a story where others made fun of them. Alright? And so now I'm helping this child. So are there other people who don't make fun of you? Uh, I guess my friend Tommy or my friend Sarah. Uh, okay. So they don't, but those others do well, how about mom and dad? Well, no, you guys don't do that. Okay? So when you're in a situation and there are going to be people who are unkind, there are going to be bullies. I'm gonna encourage you to my child to think about your friend Sarah, how kind she is. And now what we're teaching our child to do is look at an alternative to a conclusion that others don't like me. And so that's how I would encourage them to be sensitive, get them to open up, get them to challenge that Original thinking by just asking questions and then continue to reinforce that new experience. Sarah, she does care about you, doesn't she? Oh yeah, she does. Right. So when you have that experience and you're thinking that nobody likes you, I want you to think about Sarah, your good friend, or think about mom and dad, or think about mom that she loves you and now you're giving them a way to reframe that original interpretation.

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Dr. Kevin Skinner