How to Help Your Child Deal with a Bully

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That's an interesting thing. 'cause it's not just about my child, it's about their peers. When somebody says that's not cool and you start looking at some of the research, it's like, Hey, that's not cool. Well right. They, they, they say something, but that's not okay that you say that It's not okay. Simple phrase. But when enough people are saying and observing this, Hey, that's not cool what you just did. Now they're actually getting a social reinforcement that the behavior is not okay. Social reinforcement to negative behavior is one of the best things. Hey, that's not cool, that's not cool, that's not acceptable. So I can do it. It may not stop them, but I know that I'm standing up for myself, which gives me a sense of confidence. Look, you can have your opinion, but it's not cool that you're saying that. And they might continue to make fun of or mock. But if enough people socially are doing that, then we get to a culture where we learn that's not okay behavior. Now more than ever, we need to eradicate bullying. Bullying is so destructive for our overall mental health and wellbeing. So everybody needs to be a part of the solution. Every school, every teacher, every student needs to say that's not cool. And when we get enough people in our schools doing that, we learn quickly. You look, you don't get away with that here. You don't, that's not acceptable behavior. Get a school council, get the students aligned on this issue. So we have an environment of safety. Remember, safety is the principle of learning. It's the principle of connection and relationships. And when we don't have that safety, then we are at a risk. We don't wanna go to school 'cause it doesn't feel safe. It doesn't feel secure. Our challenge is to create as much safety as possible in our school systems. And that's, that falls on everybody. That's not, that's not just your child, that's everybody. That's peers, that's teachers, that's administration. Everybody needs to have, be involved in this conversation. I have suggested in the past to school districts that you have actually have a council that addresses bullying. When they're part of the solution, they're more likely to succeed. So get your children involved in bullying, um, program where it's helping eradicate it. It's, it's just too destructive for our mental health. Everybody needs a safe environment to learn in.

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Dr. Kevin Skinner