Establishing Healthy Boundaries
In this session, therapist Jenna Riemersma provides insights into establishing healthy boundaries in parenting with the end goal in mind. Jenna likens parenting to pitching a ball: timing and direction are crucial to success. She emphasizes the authoritative parenting style—warm yet demanding—as the most effective, urging parents and caregivers to be both physically and emotionally present for their children.
This session highlights the risks of over-parenting and under-parenting, stressing the importance of balance. Parents and caregivers are encouraged to guide their children with love, allowing them to experience setbacks and build resilience, while always keeping the ultimate goal of raising capable adults in mind.
This session highlights the risks of over-parenting and under-parenting, stressing the importance of balance. Parents and caregivers are encouraged to guide their children with love, allowing them to experience setbacks and build resilience, while always keeping the ultimate goal of raising capable adults in mind.
Instant Insights
Deep Dive
Key Takeaways
1
Boundaries Begin with You
Establishing healthy boundaries with your child starts by understanding the need for boundaries in your own life and giving yourself grace as you learn these important skills.
2
Parent with the End Goal in Mind
Before making parenting decisions, envision your child's future. Ask, "What kind of adult do I want them to become, and how would they handle challenges?"
3
Understand Parenting Styles
Being authoritative—warm and demanding—is the most recommended style for fostering a healthy parent-child relationship.
4
Be Physically and Emotionally Present
Avoid being absent, both physically and emotionally, as it can have long-lasting negative effects on your child.
5
Avoid Over-Parenting
Don’t hold on too long or over-manage your child; allow them to develop independence and resilience.
6
Encourage Healthy Failures
Let your child experience setbacks and failures to help them build resilience and problem-solving skills.
7
Adapt to Each Child’s Needs
Each child is unique; adjust your parenting approach based on their individual needs and developmental stage.
8
Reflect on Your Parenting
Continuously assess and adjust your parenting strategies for each child to ensure you’re guiding them toward becoming resilient adults.
9
Be Kind to Yourself
Parenting is challenging, and it’s important to give yourself grace as you navigate this ever-changing journey.
5 Things You Can Do to Build Healthy Family Boundaries
- Establish Clear Boundaries: Define and communicate your boundaries to your child before emotions run high.
- Be Present: Make a conscious effort to be both physically and emotionally available for your child, even during busy times.
- Start with the End in Mind: Before responding to a situation, think about the long-term relationship and outcome you want to build with your child.
- Practice Reflective Parenting: Regularly assess how you are parenting each child and make adjustments as needed to support their growth.
- Encourage Independence: Begin teaching your child practical skills they’ll need as adults, such as managing their time, finances, and self-care.
Additional Resources
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My 13-year-old son is acting very defiant. I feel he is getting out of control. How do I set boundaries?
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