School Avoidance
In this session, Brett Williams, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist at Addo Recovery Clinic, provides guidance on the complex issue of school avoidance. We’ll explore how to initiate meaningful conversations with your child, uncover the underlying issues they may be facing, and emphasize the importance of trusting your parental intuition while leading with empathy.
School avoidance, or school refusal, is when a child consistently avoids or refuses to go to school, often due to anxiety or other emotional challenges. Understanding the true reason and learning how to support your child effectively is crucial. Let’s dive in and learn more from Brett Williams about how we can help our children navigate and overcome school avoidance.
Instant Insights
Deep Dive
Key Takeaways
1
Understand School Avoidance
School avoidance, linked to anxiety or mood disorders, differs from truancy. It shows through behaviors like asking to stay home or being tardy.
2
Initiate Conversations with Curiosity
Approach your child with curiosity. Ask open-ended questions like "What would you change about school?" to uncover the underlying reasons for their avoidance.
3
Discover the Story
Listen actively to your child’s story behind school avoidance. Encourage them to share feelings without jumping to conclusions or offering immediate solutions.
4
Identify the Real Problem
School avoidance often relates to specific issues within the school environment. Discuss with your child to pinpoint whether it involves peers, teachers, or situations.
5
Consider Medical Issues
Rule out medical problems like vision issues, ADD/ADHD, or learning disabilities that might contribute to school avoidance. Addressing these can improve your child's experience.
6
Address Emotional Problems
Anger or defiance may mask fear or sadness. Help your child articulate and understand their true emotions and the underlying causes.
7
Build Emotional Trust
Use neutral language to acknowledge and validate your child's feelings. Building trust helps them feel understood and supported.
8
Trust Your Parental Intuition
Rely on your intuition to understand your child's needs. Share your own experiences to model emotional expression and encourage your child to open up
9
Show Empathy and Patience
Practice active listening and empathy. Encourage sharing with phrases like "Tell me more" and avoid rushing to solutions. Validating feelings fosters open communication.
5 Things You Can Do if Your Child is Avoiding School
- Start an Open Conversation: Approach your child with curiosity and empathy. Ask open-ended questions to understand their feelings and concerns about school. For example, “Can you tell me what’s been bothering you about school lately?” or “What part of your school day do you find most challenging?
- Identify Specific Issues: Work with your child to identify specific problems they are facing at school. Ask them to rate different parts of their school day to pinpoint what’s troubling them. This could help uncover issues with peers, teachers, or particular subjects.
- Validate Their Emotions: Acknowledge and validate your child’s feelings without judgment. Use neutral language to describe what you observe, such as “I see you’re really frustrated about going to school.” This helps them feel understood and supported.
- Rule Out Medical Concerns: Ensure that there are no underlying medical issues contributing to their school avoidance. Schedule a check-up with your child’s pediatrician to address potential problems like vision or hearing issues, learning disabilities, or anxiety disorders.
- Model Emotional Expression: Share your own feelings and past experiences to help your child articulate their emotions. For instance, “When I was your age, I sometimes felt nervous about going to school too. How do you feel about it?” This can encourage them to open up and express their own emotions more freely.
Additional Resources
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