Clients have often asked me, “How do I talk to and support my elementary-aged child about violence and unrest happening in the community related to immigration?” I want to start by saying, if you’re unsure about what to say, that’s understandable. These are complex and emotional issues, but silence can sometimes feel scarier for children than a simple, steady explanation.
When I think about an elementary-aged child, I’m thinking anywhere from ages six to 12. Kids in this age range are old enough to hear things from friends, see content online, or overhear conversations from adults, but they’re not yet equipped to process adult-level complexity. Our goal is not to give them a full political analysis. Our goal is to help them feel safe, informed, and emotionally regulated.
I would start by asking what they already know and how they feel about it. This gives you the opportunity to correct misinformation and prevents overwhelming them with more detail than they need. It also opens the door for ongoing communication so they feel comfortable coming to you in the future.
During the conversation, use simple, factual information and keep your tone calm and neutral. Children at this age want to know: Are we safe? Is my school safe? Are my family members safe? Reassure them, but avoid over-reassuring in a way that feels unrealistic. Emphasize that systems are in place to help keep people safe.
Make sure you are listening to and validating their feelings. Help them identify what they are experiencing—fear, confusion, anger, or curiosity. You might say, “It makes sense that you feel worried when you hear about people being upset.” Validation helps regulate their emotions.
Finally, anchor the conversation in your family’s values. Without turning it into a political debate, you can say things like, “In our family, we believe in treating people with respect,” or “We believe disagreements should be handled peacefully.” Children feel grounded when they understand the moral framework of their home.
The most important thing to remember is that your calm presence matters more than perfect words. When children see that the adults around them are steady, thoughtful, and available, they feel safer—even in uncertain times.
