Dr. Skinner, the first question is: “We want our 16-year-old to get a job. His mom and I had summer jobs in high school. He keeps applying with no luck. What advice can we give him?”
My initial response is—good for you. Helping your child get a job is valuable. That’s how many of us grew up. But today’s world is very different. The unemployment and financial situation in the country is tough, and there’s a lot of competition for jobs. Still, helping a teenager get a job is a great skill-building opportunity. Learning to work in high school teaches responsibility, time management, teamwork, and productivity.
Start by clarifying why you want them to get a job. Is it about responsibility, learning to work under supervision, interacting with others, using time wisely? If those are your reasons, great. But right now, your child is also learning another important lesson: jobs aren’t always easy to get.
You might wonder, “Am I teaching my child to fail?” Actually, you're teaching a reality of life. Sometimes you apply and don’t get the job. That’s part of life. But here’s the next step—consider talking to friends, people in trades like construction, or others who might know someone and can help get your child a foot in the door.
Another important lesson here is adaptability—keep going, keep looking. Learning to deal with rejection is a key life skill. Even if they don’t get the job, you can still say, “I’m proud of you for trying and putting in the effort.” That effort is a skill in itself.
If the purpose of the job is to earn money, then explain that good grades are just as important right now. A student with good grades is more likely to earn a college scholarship—often easier to get than an athletic one. So success doesn’t only come from a summer job. It can also come from academics and building useful habits and skills.
So, think long-term. Teach your child that rejection is part of life, and that economic conditions fluctuate—sometimes jobs are plentiful, other times scarce. You’re also teaching them to be flexible and adapt. In easier times, anyone could get a job. Now, it might take more effort and creativity.
This can motivate them to pursue education and a career that’s more resilient in hard times. In the end, your question opened the door to teaching your child valuable lessons—about resilience, flexibility, economics, education, and perseverance.
