What are some ways body image issues show up in boys, and how can I best respond to it?
There is a very real cultural challenge we’re facing right now, and that is body dysmorphia. We are struggling to understand what a “normal” body even looks like.
As a culture, we are generally heavier than in the past. But when someone says, “I’m fat,” we need to ask: where does that perception come from? What determines that belief?
How are we defining whether someone is overweight? What are we comparing ourselves to?
Research has shown that both men and women who view pornography tend to experience more body image issues. Why? Because they are comparing themselves to unrealistic, highly produced images that are not reflective of real life.
If that kind of content shapes perception, then what about television, social media, or platforms like TikTok that constantly display certain body types? When someone doesn’t match those images, they may begin to believe something is wrong with them.
That’s why it’s so important to help our children understand what a healthy version of themselves looks like.
A better question to ask might be: what would you like your body to be able to do that it can’t do right now? For example, “I’d like to run a mile” or “I’d like to run a 5K.” Great—let’s train for that.
This shifts the focus toward action and growth rather than comparison.
The same applies to nutrition. We don’t change our diet just to lose weight—because that approach rarely works long-term. Instead, we focus on becoming healthier. That shift in mindset is far more effective.
When a child expresses concerns about their body, it often reflects a deeper belief—feelings of inadequacy, like “I’m not like others” or “something is wrong with me.” That’s what we really need to address.
Ask where that belief came from. Do they think it’s true? Why? And how can you support them?
Not because you agree with the criticism, but because you want them to feel good about themselves. Let your child know they matter.
In my professional experience, I’ve seen how damaging it can be when parents criticize their child’s body—comments about weight, appearance, or eating habits can create lasting feelings of inadequacy.
We can do better. We can model healthy behaviors, provide nourishing food, and communicate in supportive ways.
Most importantly, we want our children to know that we love them, we care about them, and that we will support them through whatever challenges they face.
