What are some ways body image issues show up in boys, and how can I best respond to it?
There is a very challenging cultural issue that we’re dealing with right now, and that is body dysmorphia. We are struggling with what a “normal” body is.
As a culture, we are generally heavier than in past generations. But when someone says, “I’m fat,” we need to ask: where does that perception come from? What determines that belief?
How do we define whether someone is overweight? Are we comparing ourselves to something unrealistic?
For example, research shows that both men and women who view pornography tend to experience more body image issues. Why? Because they are comparing themselves to unrealistic, highly produced images that are not reflective of real life.
If that kind of content influences perception, then what about social media, television, or platforms like TikTok that consistently present certain body types? When young people don’t match those images, they may start to believe something is wrong with them.
That’s why it’s important to help our children understand what a healthy version of themselves looks like. A better question might be: what do you want your body to be able to do?
For example, “I want to run a mile” or “I want to run a 5K.” Great—let’s train for that. Now we’re teaching them to take action toward a goal rather than waiting for change to happen.
The same applies to nutrition. We shouldn’t focus on dieting to lose weight, because that rarely works long-term. Instead, we focus on becoming healthier. That shift in mindset is far more effective.
When a child expresses concerns about their body, it often reflects a deeper belief—feelings of inadequacy, like “I’m not good enough” or “I’m different.” That’s what we really need to address.
Ask them where that belief came from. Do they think it’s true? Why? And how can you support them—not because you agree with the criticism, but because you want them to feel good about themselves.
Let your child know they matter. In my professional experience, I’ve seen how harmful it can be when parents criticize their child’s body—comments about weight, appearance, or eating habits can create lasting feelings of inadequacy.
We can do better. We can model healthy behaviors, provide nutritious food, and communicate in supportive ways.
The most important thing is that our children know we love them, we care about them, and that we are there to support them through whatever challenges they face.
