My child is struggling with making a decision after high school. How can I help her?
I really like that question. We’re seeing a lot of that right now—seniors wondering, “Where am I going to go?”
I want to look at this from a relational perspective. When teens are trying to make these decisions, there’s often some separation anxiety involved. Questions like: Do I dare move away from home? Can I handle being far from my family?
Some teens can’t wait to leave, while others feel more hesitant. Both reactions are normal.
When your child is struggling with a decision, I like to use a simple exercise. Have them set aside about 30 minutes—though it can be done in as little as 10—and write down anything that comes to mind about what they would like to do after high school. There are no right or wrong answers.
Next, have them rank those options from most appealing to least appealing. This helps them begin to organize their thoughts and priorities.
Then, for each of the top options, ask them to write two things: what excites them about it and what fears they have about it.
This process helps bring clarity. It allows them to define and organize what they’re feeling and thinking.
When they rank their options, they’re naturally identifying what matters most to them. And by exploring both excitement and fear, they’re connecting with their emotions in a meaningful way.
This simple exercise can often provide the clarity they need to move forward with an important decision.
