Why Our Children Self-Harm

In this session with insights from marriage and family therapist Jenna Riemersma, she discusses how to support a child who is self-harming. Parents should approach the situation with understanding and empathy. Key actions include creating a safe space for open communication, seeking professional help, and developing a safety plan together.

Parents learn to educate themselves about self-harm and its triggers, remove potential self-harm tools from the home, and encourage healthy coping mechanisms like hobbies or exercise. Monitoring your child’s emotional state, fostering positive relationships, and staying connected are essential for ongoing support. Building a strong support network and promoting self-care routines can also help in managing and reducing self-harming behaviors.

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Deep Dive

Key Takeaways

Understand the Behavior

Self-harm often stems from emotional distress or coping with overwhelming feelings. Understanding the underlying issues is crucial, not just the behavior itself.

Avoid Judgment

Approach the situation with empathy and avoid criticism. Judgment can deepen feelings of shame and isolation.

Use Open Communication

Create a safe space for open and honest dialogue. Let your child express their feelings without fear of punishment or judgment.

Seek Professional Help

Engage mental health professionals experienced in treating self-harm. Therapists, counselors, or psychologists can provide appropriate interventions.

Monitor and Support

Keep an eye on your child's emotional state and provide ongoing support. This includes being available for conversations and offering emotional reassurance.

Educate Yourself

Learn about self-harm and its triggers. Understanding the behavior helps in providing effective support and intervention.

Create a Safety Plan

Develop a plan with your child for what to do when they feel the urge to self-harm. This can include coping strategies or safe contacts.

Encourage Healthy Coping Mechanisms

Support your child in finding alternative ways to handle stress or emotional pain, such as art, exercise, or journaling.

Foster Positive Relationships

Encourage healthy relationships with friends, family, and supportive adults who can provide additional emotional support.

Immediate Steps for Parents and Caregivers

1. Initiate a Calm Conversation: Approach your child calmly and express concern without judgment. Let them know you are there to support them.

2. Seek Immediate Professional Help: Contact a mental health professional to discuss your child’s behavior and get guidance on next steps.

3. Create a Safe Environment: Remove or secure any items that could be used for self-harm. Ensure your child’s environment is safe and supportive.

4. Develop a Safety Plan Together: Work with your child to create a plan for when they feel the urge to self-harm, including identifying triggers and coping strategies.

5. Encourage Healthy Outlets: Help your child engage in activities that promote well-being, such as hobbies, physical activities, or mindfulness exercises.

6. Monitor Emotional Changes: Keep track of your child’s emotional state and any changes in behavior. Stay observant of any new triggers or stressors.

7. Stay Connected: Regularly check in with your child about their feelings and experiences. Maintain open lines of communication and provide emotional support.

8. Promote Self-Care: Encourage your child to practice self-care routines that can improve their emotional health, like regular sleep, healthy eating, and relaxation techniques.

9. Build a Support Network: Engage other supportive adults in your child’s life who can provide additional encouragement and positive reinforcement.

10. Educate on Self-Harm: Teach your child about healthier coping mechanisms and the importance of seeking help when they are struggling.